[monique1992]

Hello,

I’v been in a relationship for 3 years now, we have been living together for about 6 months now.
The last week I have felt really down about or relationship, as a lot of issues have been building up. Basically my problem is my I get home from work, my boyfriend and I have dinner together and then he dispears into his “man cave” for the rest of the night.
When he finally comes to bed I am usually asleep, or he is going asleep so there is not time to talk or have sex. Sex is also my other issues, we are 20 and have sex once a week, this is not enough for me at all. When I voice my issues, and ask him if he can comprise and spent one night with me, or come inside a little bit earlier so we can spend some time together. He still hasn’t done this.

Now every time we talk about it, he just blows up and gets very angry (his usual nature). He tells me that I am being to clingy. When i mention sex he says I am being dramatic and that he just doesnt have a big sex drive (even though we used to do it lots). I have also noticed that he has been watching porn, which I’m with. I just dont understand how he can be interested in porn but not me?

I keep make advances or trying to make plans and I just dont get a response. It’s making me feel horrible about myself, like its me that he is not attracted to. I’m feeling lonely and unwanted.

Am i being a sook and making things up in my head or do I have valid points? If so, how do I speak to my partner without him getting very angry. What is the best approach?
😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good questions — and actually, a very common problem, so you’re not alone here. 😉 Here are a couple of tips that will help:

1. Guys don’t want to have “the talk” about the relationship or about sex. They’re used to fixing problems, and they can’t fix a sex problem by talking about it. So scrap any more plans for talks.

2. Your job is to change your behavior — not his. You’ll find this is actually a lot easier and a lot less frustrating. Think about what YOU can do differently. For instance, you can dial up your inner vixen and make yourself more alluring. The idea is to get him to want to have a better sex life, so set the scene. I’ve actually written a book called Romantic Date Ideas that is a great book for you to read because it’s got all kinds of tips for setting scenarios that will lead to more spark in the bedroom. Here’s the link for the book: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url].

3. You’re in a relationship rut where the two of you come home from work and he retreats to his “corner” or his man cave. Set up a date night where you meet for dinner after work or maybe even a movie or bowling or something that you both like. If you have friends he likes then set up double dates and dinner parties so that he’s lured out of his cave because he wants to come out! 🙂

Hope that helps.

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