[Kathy0106]

Dating a guy for a year, broke up a few times and got back together, told me repeatedly that I was the best thing that ever happened to him, loves me more then life, never felt this way before, knows its meant to be, only wants to be with me, and how he wants a baby with me. Then the possibility of pregnancy is there. He tells me that he can’t do it, he is not ready, and he is not sure if he can give his heart to anyone but then says maybe our hearts do belong together but he doesn’t know and he needs to work on his issues. Also, he loves me but does not know if he is in love. How do you say that to someone when you are the one that says you want to have a baby?? So confused, hurt, and lost.
To say I want to have a baby with the one woman I truly love, do the deed and when the possibility is there, turn your back and say I love u but don’t know if I am in love and I am not ready…just bizarre, obviously people know whether they are in love or not, is it possible that he is so scared that he breaks it off.
And also when he said I still love you but don’t know if i am in love I said I don’t believe that, I think you do and your scared and he said we have been thru so much and he is scared of the future if we get back so yes he is lost, also said he is lost upset and don’t know where his life is going but I am his best friend, All of this right after trying to have a baby, as he put wants a baby with the one woman he truly loves…just don’t know what to think

[AskApril Masini]

I don’t know how old you both are, but here’s a couple of tips that may help:

* If you’re dating a guy for a year and you’ve broken up “a couple of times” you should probably work out your differences before trying to have a baby. Breaking up a couple of times in a year isn’t an indication that this is a stable relationship, and having a baby, on a relationship with a shaky foundation, isn’t a good idea.

* Also, when a guy says one thing and does another, believe his behavior, not his words. Your boyfriend is very romantic, when he’s romantic — and when he’s not, you’re super confused because you bought into the romantic things he’s said when he’s in the mood to do so. I think you have to understand that he’s not someone who’s ready for a monogamous, serious relationship with you. In spite of what he says that sounds good in the moment — and then not so much when he contradicts himself.

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