[Anonymous]

So my bf and I have been going out for almost 6 months. It’s long distance (NY to DE) but we usually manage to see each other once a week. Well he’s always been bad at communicating. He rarely texts me or calls me when we’re away from each other. Usually it’s me who makes the effort. I brushed it off at first but now it’s really bothering me. I feel like he doesn’t like me that much. I just called him and one of the first things he said was when am I gonna see you. I was hoping he’d say this weekend, but he said early next week. I said why not this weekend and he said he’s going to a concert with his friend. I’m kind of pissed because isn’t that kind of obvious he’s not really that eager to see me? He said he was but I mean if he really wanted to see me couldn’t he have me come this weekend and I would just stay home during the concert? I wouldn’t mind that. Should I be offended? Am I wasting my time? Should I mention it to him? What should I do?
Thanks!

[Ask April Masini]

I don’t think you should be [i]offended[/i] because you’ve only been dating for six months and it’s been long distance the whole time with a frequency of a date once a week. This is about the time when you can assess whether or not the relationship is going in the direction you want it to be going, and whether or not you’re wasting your time with someone who’s compatible or not. Offense would only be warranted if he did something wrong, but the truth is, he’s letting you know who he is — and you’re not liking it. Disappointed, maybe. Mad at yourself for wanting him to be someone he’s not, more likely. But offended? I don’t think so.

Your feeling that you’re jealous isn’t really on the nose either because what you’re feeling is lonely and neglected — not jealous. He’s not cheating on you — he’s just living his life and he’s comfortable with the rhythm you’re in and isn’t ready to step it up. You, however, are.

Since you say he “rarely texts or calls” you when you’re apart, and you only see each other once a week, I think you have different needs. He’s not as interested in you and a relationship with you as you’d like, so yes — you may just be wasting your time. However, the surefire way for you to know if you are or not, is to back off and stop being the one who instigates communication or suggests getting together.

If you want Mr. Right, you’ve got to give him something to chase and that means being alluring, unavailable and charming. You should read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It’s only $15.95 and it downloads immediately and it will help you become the woman who gets the man. I really hope you buy it and read it — it’s a fast read.

If he doesn’t respond after you use the tricks, tips and advice in the book, then I think you have to understand that he’s not the one and move on.

I hope that helps — and I’m sorry you’re frustrated.

I also hope you’ll check me out on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. Become a FREE member of my AskApril.com Facebook page! 😀

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