[michael17]

hey april please i really need your help, im really frustrated, no medication has helped, and i know im sick and wrong, but im desperate. please i know you cant gurantee a makeup, but i atleast wanna chance, tell me what i can try please, ignore for awhile or always be there for her? I’ll start this out by giving some detail. I’m 17, she’s 16. I know I’m just a kid, but I just want some help. theres new details in here. please read!
The relationship lasted a month, until I cussed at her. My reason was stupid, so I apoligised for it. She still calls me and keeps requesting I return to her school, so she can see me, and hang out. It sounds like were just friends, but I want an actual relationship again. She said I was cute, but doesn’t trust me anymore and thinks I’ll cuss at her again. I promised I never would and still haven’t. She hasn’t called me in the last 10 days, so I assume, she’s just been busy. I rarely call her, ‘cuz I’m afraid of disturbing her. Sometimes we can have an hour conversation, but others, it’ll only last 10mins. She’s done some childish things before like prank call me. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I told her i was upset about it and she hasnt done it since. Basically I want to make it work with her, and I want to know how. I even asked her if she would atleast continue to call me, she said ofcourse. I’d like to know how to deal with this. She does tell me when she likes particular boys, and when she breaks up (i dont know why), and tell me when she’s single.
When I went to school with her yesterday, she was holding her other ex’s hand , and they kissed and said i love you. she gave me a hug and said hi to me, but it still devestated me from what i saw. she claims hes mean to her, like cussing out, prank calling, threatning, and cheating, and she keep sgoing back to him . she hasnt called me in 12 days and counting, all i try to do is be nice and im always there for her. what can i do to get her back? i dont understand why she keeps going back to him. this is atleast the 3rd time she got back with him, i just really wanna impress her, and show her i can be great man, but it feels like im going nowhere. im still patiently waiting for her calls. :*( she would usually call me every other day but when she gets back with him, she stops calling for awhile, and then usually out of the blue, she’ll call and say she broke up. she keeps going back and fourth. i can easily treat her right and respect. :*( i just wanna know what to do. i know its wrong but i feel like i love her so damn much. i want her back so bad. i asked her why she hasnt offered a second channce, but she says she doesnt trust me anymore, she said i was a nice guy and good friend and her relative said that she said that im cute. i wanna know how to impress her. im more than willing to change, to earn her trust, love and loyalty 😕 but she keeeps returning to him, will it last forever or will she eventually stop. plus its been atleast 12 days since she called. im so worried about her. im afraid to call her because of her new bf involved :*(

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you want to be her boyfriend than you have to pursue her. Instead of waiting for her to call you, you have to show her how you’re going to treat her by inviting her out on a date, bringing her flowers, complimenting her, and trying to be your best self. It sounds like you’ve got competition, so you need to step up your game!

If she continues to shoot you down, then accept the rejection — but not without giving it your best shot first!

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[michael17]

this is understandable, but im afraid to getr involved b/c she has a bf, and he has threatened me in the past. should i wait till till they break up again b/c i feel coward and im afraid to deal with this.
also: im confused on the approach i should take, im sorry i look other places, but i just wanna be for sure.
please look at these responses, and tell me if you find them advisable.

1. it sounds like she is keeping you on the back burner, in case this guy hurts her Again
not very fair of her to do that, nor to say she will call and doesn’t
sounds like she is playing games with you
she likes the attention

up to you whether you want to hang around and keep trying
or leave her be for a little while to see if she comes to you

either way, i hope you get her back
good luck

2. You are one mature 17 year old. Basically you just gotta lay it all on the line. Tell her every part of how you feel and that you still care. She might be trying to make you jealous, or this other guy might have been after her for a while. Try to find out what you both want without bias. And try to get her to talk, not use one word replies. She’s doing that to make it easier on herself

3. Alright first things first, If you want her more than a friend you need to find out who she really likes. If she likes this boy then you may just have to accept it theres not much you can do. I know it hurts but acting al desperate infront of a girl will probally push her away if she doesn’t like you in that way. Personally I would call her and talk to her then maybe try get into a more deeper conversation about you’re emotions towards her then depending on her response the pieces should fall into place.

4. This girl sounds like she’s stringing you along. If you really want her back, you can’t give her the comfort of constant contact (and constantly knowing you’re “still there” if she wants you). This will prolong the breakup indefinitely.

What you need to do is pull back, go away, and give her time to actually miss you. Let her call, or text, or email, and refuse to answer for a while. This will get her worried that you’re losing interest, at which point she’ll realize she can *actually lose you*.

If she still has feelings for you? This is when she’ll come around. And not a minute before that.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]hey april please i really need your help, im really frustrated, no medication has helped, and i know im sick and wrong, but im desperate. please i know you cant gurantee a makeup, but i atleast wanna chance, tell me what i can try please, ignore for awhile or always be there for her? I[/quote]

Let’s go back to the original question since you seem to be gathering advice from lots of people and just confusing yourself. 😳

What medication have you been taking to solve a relationship problem? 😯 And if you know you’re sick and wrong — let’s start there. Desperate, I can help you with, but if you’re really sick and you really know that something is wrong, then you probably need help that I can’t give you.

If this girl’s boyfriend has threatened you, and it’s a real threat of bodily harm, then you need to talk to someone about this because it’s illegal. So let’s get that clear. If he’s just telling you to stay away from this girl because he thinks you’re a real threat to his being with her, then that’s a different story, so let me know what’s really going on here.

If you just don’t want to compete, then your idea of waiting until she’s single again will work, but my advice is to learn that competition is part of dating and you shouldn’t shy away from it. Instead, embrace it! 😀

[michael17]

well april, its a little bit of both. hes threatned my life because i made that mistake, in the past, plus he doesn’t want me competing. plus im really not sure she’ll take me back, just because she would be single again. i dont know if its legit, but he told me they really love each other, and that even though they’re kids like me, he said shes goes around telling me, that he is her husband, so i dont know if he bs-ing me or telling me the harsh truth. infact he said alot of the thing like that they talk every day and night and that ”he would help me getta 2nd chance once they breakup, but honestly with the stuff hes done hes shady and trustworthy, but they probaly hang out alot. remember this is a high school relationship problem, so im sure it differs greatly to an adult relationship, unless u tell me otherwise. tell me what you think of all this. and yeah i am indeed desperate…not literally, but im basically on my knees pleading for her respect and love. plus usually when she says she’ll call she doesnt. her most recent excuse was that shes been busy. the boyfriend also tells me they’ll be together for a long time, especially that theyre in school and that alot of girls ask him out but he denys them because this girl were competing with ”ashley” is apparently special to him. but with all the claims of abuse going around, i dont know what to believe. im not gonna lie april, im indeed OBSESSED. my craving for her is so strong, i think about her 24/7, i just cant sleep or cope with my off-kilter life properly. i want her back more than anything april! i dont know weather to take these kids word for it or they’re just screwin with me. to recap with my advice request, im terrible with my relentless desperation , and pretty much further advice for ”my pursuit of interest”. i guess its also about a loss of security. i feel that when and if shes mine again, ill be happy and finally gain a sence of relief!

[michael17]

also on a side note, this the 3rd time, that they got back together, so im worried that this roller coaster could go on for a long time, going up and down, and back and fourth. who knows maybe they’ll stop seeing each other, what’s your further thoughts on this? i just dont know what to do from here, dont expect a call until she breaks up with him? heck im not how i should even being thinking about this, is it just paranoia, or actual logic?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Anyone who threatens your life has committed a crime. You need to report any kind of threat like this to the police. This is serious and you should take it that way. 🙁 If he’s threatening your life, chances are he’s behaving the same way to others. Threats can lead to violence.

As for your desperation over this woman, there is nothing less attractive to a woman than being desperate, so while you may feel like you really want her, your desperation comes from not taking charge of the situation. If you’re not going to compete for her then my advice is to look elsewhere for a girlfriend. But until you learn that women want men who are strong and confident, and you find a way to be that for a woman, you’re going to swim in the desperation — which can’t be comfortable.

I know you’re a teenager, but this is exactly the time to understand how women think. Men who are too available, desperate, and not confident don’t end up winning with women.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[michael17]

I thought about moving on april, but I wanted to take your advice into consideration. I’ve just realised, i’ve been making all the wrong moves. i haven’t given it my best shot yet. i could give up and let her go, but not before I earn some respect first. you see april, im weak ,desperate, and obsessive. as ive been following your guidance, ive learned i need to step up my game, ive always been a turn off for this girl because i didnt start with changing myself first! april i am pathetic and lonely, imade myself this way becuase i refused to take care of myself, im scrawny and needy, i allow people like ashleys boyfriend, walk right over me. hes in control , hes the jerk. im the nice guy, and nice guys finish last! will not anymore, i refuse to standby and let this a-hole keep my love away from me! over the course of six months im going to become what ashley wants me to be! A strong- confident-Man! I’m gonna make dramatic life changes like become buff. I’ll get to push bullies like Jon around, I get to be the hero, take his place, and do ”the dirty work”‘. i dont know if you think this will boost my chance with her, but either way, i will not allow an arrrogant punk stand in the way of what i demand most! he may have been able to use me as his doormat before, but no longer, this means war, its time to leave the boys life behind, and enter a mans world. six months later, i plan to return to ashleys high school and earn my redemption! who cares if i miss a call, who cares , if she doesnt call at all, who cares if they remain with each other! im gonna value the space, and use it as as a part of my evoloution! men are are like dirty, savage animals, im going to embrace that title, and show it to the whole damn world! i may be miserable and depressed, but that doesnt stop me from being the best i can be! i cant wait for her any longer. its time i give it all i got! But talk is cheap, I need your guidance, step , by step on bringing on my Revoloution!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your plan sounds great! 😀

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