[lansing]

Hey,

I met a girl online and we texted/used snapchat back and forth for about 10 days or so (we are both 18 years old). She seemed really interested in me and was always sending me pictures and even asked me if she was being too “clingy” before we even met. This constant texting me was at times almost annoying, but it caused me to develop an insane crush on her. Before she was texting me all the time and acting interested in me, I really didn’t even care that much about seeing her.

AAfter like 10 days, we met in person finally. We saw a movie, went to Chipotle, and then went to Starbucks. The date went well I thought; she kept finding bogus excuses to touch me, and I wonder now if I didn’t reciprocrate the touching enough. After the date she sent me a picture of herself on snapchat saying she hoped I had fun. So I asked her if she wanted to go out again in the next week, and she said she didn’t have time and that she was extremely busy until mid May! I replied in a polite way almost as if responding to a rejection (I said something like “Oh that’s too bad I had a lot of fun. Maybe some other time.”) She said “I promise I am not trying to avoid you. I’m just really busy because I have exams, soccer, etc… I really did enjoy myself.” So I told her to let me know if her schedule opens up and she said she would. Since then she has been texting me but not nearly as much as before we met, and her texts seem shorter and less interested. Though she has asked me to send her pictures sometimes, she has not paid me any compliments like she did before we met.

So, I’m first of all wondering if it is possible that she really could be busy for an entire week and not have time to see me. I mean, if she were anywhere near as interested in me as I am in her, I’d think she could make time for a quick visit in a week long period. It seems to me that she is still interested, but a little bit less interested now.

Sorry for rambling, but here is my main question: How can I get her to want to see me as much as I want to see her, given that we are only communicated with texts/snapchat on a regular basis? I mean, the things she texts me are often boring (how are you?, whats up?, etc.) and the same when I text her. I want to talk to her, but after a while you run out of things to say in text. I know she likes soccer, so I sent her a funny soccer meme, but she just said “lol I loved it” and then that was all we said–so I basically went nowhere with that.

I appreciate the help.

[AskApril Masini]

I think she is interested in you — and she may actually be busy until mid-May. After all, since you’re both 18, you’re either both in high school as seniors or college as freshmen, and that means, finals and the end of school. It’s actually conceivable that she may be busy. I know it’s disappointing, because you were hoping that she’d want to drop everything for a second date, but I think you should focus on keeping the spark alive between now and mid-May when you can ask her out again. That means limiting the communication so that it doesn’t get too boring — you mentioned that that’s happening already. Less is more, and if you only contact her once or twice a week, but make it fun and meaningful and flirty when you do, you can keep her wanting more.

If she doesn’t go out on a second date with you, or comes up with a reason not to, that isn’t a no, but isn’t a yes, then… I’d move on. But for now, keep her in the game with less communication that is more enticing, and plan to ask her out again in May. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[lansing]

Rather than having to talk to her until mid-May on the prospect she likes me, could I just ask her if she is interested in me? I mean, my interest in her is contingent on her interest in me–the reason I started to like her was because of her initial interest in me that seems to have gone away. If she doesn’t like me, I don’t think it is worth it for me to try and convince her to like me. I’d rather just know now, because waiting so long is not worth it if she is just gonna reject me later.

So, can I just ask her this? If I can, how do I ask her in a way so she knows I don’t me like as in find me interesting, but as in physical attraction?

I want to sound straightforward rather than needy. I don’t want it to come across in a way that makes it sound like I’ll be disappointed if she doesn’t like me, because honestly I can handle it and I just want an honest answer.

[AskApril Masini]

If you don’t want to come across as needy, then don’t ask her if she’s interested in you. Since you’ve already had one good date, and she said she’s busy until mid-May, the next step is a second date. If you back pedal and start asking her if she’s interested, you’re going to come off as insecure.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts