[CreativeDestruction]

We had this fucked up friendship that looks like a relationship but it wasnt. Nothing really happened between us. After a few years of ups and downs i found out she had gotten into drugs earlier this year. For other reasons i then also fell into them and she got furious. she can be volatile and aggressive but i love her:
Jess
Hope you are ok. It made me really sad to see you like you were last week. I dont wanna sound lame but i really do love you and i think you’re clever, funny and have the best personality. Honestly the best time I’ve had this year was wen you slept at mine a few times and not because i was hoping for a root but because i thought that being in each others arms felt so right and waking up with you there still intertwined with each other made me feel happier than I’ve felt in a long time. I dont know what it is because it doesn’t seem right but it just feels right for some reason. I want you to be in my life till the day i die and i will always come back to you no matter what has happened. I hope we both find inner happiness one day and wen that happens then maybe the timing will be right. I dont know if this is how you feel deep down as well but there is definitely some awesome connection between us. Even tho i hurt you sometimes and you hurt me as well we always put it past us because deep down we do care for each other. I think you mite feel the same way i do, maybe you just dont know it or maybe you do and you’re just not saying it. Or maybe you dont and ill just hav to live with that as painfull as that is for me. you’re really special jess (tiki) and i hope you really know that inside and dont just act like it 😛
If you ever need me to take you away from somewhere bad or take you home or if you ever just want to hang out with someone who just really appreciates you as a person and wants to make you happy just let me know.
Im so happy you decided to crash some jewish party 4 years ago because i doubt either of our lives would be the same if you went somewhere else. If weve sticked together this long there must be something special and different about us. Maybe its fate i dont know i dont usually believe in that stuff but there’s no other explanation how a loser jew and a wild, crazy serb could be so close for so long. Sorry for the essay but it really does come from the heart. x
Please dont reply just think about it and tell me what you think next time you see me

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have to fill me in a little more! I need some details before I can give you good advice. 🙂

How old are you both?

What is that you want to happen?

Why are you sending this message to this woman?

What do you hope to gain?

Let me and I’ll answer your question!

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[CreativeDestruction]

Im 23 shes 20
Its got to the point where theres a good chance shell be dead in a few years with what shes doing. It breaks my heart to see her in this meth psychosis.
Shes unpredictable, wild and even violent ans you never know what will set her off. Shes always been a little bit rough like that but shes fully delusional now.
Shes sleeping with seedy older men who shoot her up with meth.
Shes been kicked out of home and jumps from junkie to junkie getting as much from them as she can and causing massive dramas everywhere she goes.
But i love the real her and want her back to normal. I want her to want to be with me but more than that i want her safe and healthy and back to her usual awesome self. Even if the message just makes her feel a bit better im happy.
Shes been very cruel to me at times but i can see thru all that. It was a spur of the moment thing to send this as ive seen less of her as shes steadily been getting worse. It will break my heart if she doesnt have any feelings for me but it would be worse to stand at her funeral or see her turn into a wrinklec dirty old junkie who looks twice her real age.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Got it. Thank you for filling me in.

It sounds like this woman with whom you had some type of relationship with, is now a drug addict who is using, and you fear for her life. What you have to understand about addicts is that their relationship with their substance is their first priority. You will never be first. So, hoping that a healthy relationship will come about — when you’re dealing with a using meth addict — is an expectation that you need to readjust. It’s not going to happen.

As for your caring about her health and well being, it’s important that you don’t sugar coat what’s happening to her. Be straight with her that you care about her and that you’re worried she’s going to die because of her drug use and risky behavior. She is the only one who can help herself. You can offer to drive her to a meeting or to a hospital for help. But it’s not a good idea for either one of you to romanticize her health. It’s in jeopardy.

As for you, it’s a kind instinct to want to help, but it’s important to know what your own boundaries are. You don’t have to skills to help an addict, and being in a relationship with one is going to be very difficult and painful for you. My advice is that express your concern for her, offer to drive her to meetings or a rehab facility, and then find someone to date for yourself, who’s in a healthier lifestyle. 🙂

I hope that helps.

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