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Hi April —

I love your forum. I am dating a man who wants to marry me. He’s very successful. However, he hates my ex. They have battled each other quite a bit.

Now, that I am moving to be with him and get engaged, he has told me that he refuses to pay my child support. I have to quit my job to move in with him (his request) and while I will find work, I don’t know how long it will take.

My fiancé is willing to pay all of my bills until I get work. But, he says he will not pay child support. He says it’s my ex’s job to figure that out if he wants to fight me over the kids.

He says I’m unreasonable for requesting that of him. So, I said I would just continue to work and delay my move to make sure I have money for my child support. And he says that if I don’t move asap, he can’t continue our relationship.

I feel trapped.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Maybe you can fill me in on some more details — like, is there long distance involved in this possible move? How long have you been dating your boyfriend? How old are you all and how many children do you have?

In general, I have to agree with your boyfriend that it isn’t his responsibility to pay child support for you children. That’s an agreement that you and your ex have to take care of your kids. It doesn’t usually have anything to do with who you date.

I’m also not sure why you would consider quitting your current job just to get a second one, simply because your boyfriend wants you to. If you’re a single mother with a job, you should keep the job! Especially since your boyfriend wants you to work — why not just keep the job you have?

And I’m also unclear on what your boyfriend’s rush is to have you move in or break up. That’s a little extreme…. unless — have you been dating for many years and resisted moving in with him? Or, is there something pressing that is causing him to want this to resolve right away?

Fill me in and I’ll give you my advice.

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