[Mike73]

We dated for 8 months and I was still dealing with divorce issues. I got confused on if I wanted to try to fix my marriage or not. I told her I needed time to clear my head and figure out what I wanted so we split up. We kept in touch and about 2 months after our break up she told me that she missed me and that if I was interested that once I got myself back on my feet that we could try to get back together. My divorce is filed and and we talk every day and maybe once a week we see each other but she is not ready to take that step yet. She keeps me informed about her kids and other things. I still love her and just want to know if you think i still have a chance with her? I’m not good at reading into women’s signs. She Huss told me that I’ve been more of a dad to her kids than anyone else has and every time I leave her place she gives me a hug. She always texts me back and we have a lot of fun doing things with her kids. She even gave me Christmas ideas for the kids and is making my mom something too I don’t want to push her but I would like to have her back in my life.

[AskApril Masini]

I think you should give it a shot. But the way back into her heart is through romance, not just being a stand up guy to her kids. Use the holidays to rev up the romance. Send her flowers and poems. Invite her to holiday parties, and focus on the relationship you have with just her — not as much with her family. She needs time to make sure she’s not the rebound relationship you’re going to have post-divorce, so be patient. But don’t back off. I think it’s great that you took care of business and filed for divorce. But ending your marriage is a process and starting up this relationship with her is one, as well. Stick with it. 😉 She’s going to be looking for signs that you’re not interested in rekindling romance with your wife and that you’re really moving forward. When the divorce is granted, invite her to celebrate this new part of your life with you. In fact, buy a bottle of champagne just for that purpose, put it in the refrigerator, and let her know that when the divorce comes through you want to drink it with her. 😎

[Sally]

This sounds like someone who still cares, just moving slow because she’s been burned and has kids to protect. From the outside, nothing you wrote sounds like a woman who’s done with you. Talking every day, letting you be around her kids, saying you’ve been more of a dad than anyone that’s not casual. That’s trust.

But here’s the part to respect: you pulled away once when you were unsure. Even though it made sense, it probably scared her. So now she’s watching actions, not words. She’s making sure you’re steady before she lets her heart go there again.
You don’t need to push. Just keep showing up the way you have been. Calm. Consistent. No pressure.
If she didn’t see a future at all, you wouldn’t be this close to her life. Give it time.

[Tara]

You’re not her partner, you’re her emotional support system with a pickup schedule.
She likes you. She trusts you. She appreciates you. And she is very intentionally not choosing you. If she wanted a relationship with you, you’d be in one already. Adults don’t need months of “figuring it out” when the answer is yes.

You walked away first. You told her you didn’t know what you wanted. That permanently shifted the power. Now you’re safe, familiar, helpful, and non-threatening, which is exactly why she keeps you close while keeping you stalled.

The kids? That’s the trap. Being good with her kids doesn’t mean she wants you back romantically. It means you’re reliable. You’re filling a role without requiring commitment from her. Hugging you, texting you back, including you in holidays, involving your mom, none of that equals romantic intent. That equals comfort and emotional continuity.

And this part matters: she already told you she’s not ready. Believe her. Stop trying to decode “signs” like a teenager. Grown women don’t communicate desire through breadcrumbs; they communicate it through decisions.

Right now, you’re doing all the boyfriend work with none of the boyfriend status. That’s not patience. That’s volunteering to be stuck.

[Member]

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