[under_the_stars]

Hi, I really love my boyfriend and I know he loves me back. He shows me and tells me every day, so I don’t know why I’m so caught up on this one-time event. It’s just that last night, I was out with my him and several of his friends for most of the evening, and later on, when we finally got back, we had sex almost as soon we walked in the door. But, immediately after we finish, he gets a call from another of his guy friends (A), and he leaves to go work with A (on separate projects, but together). So I went back to my place and cried until I fell asleep (I should probably say I have some history with depression and the anniversary of a death I’d rather not talk about is coming up, so I was a little sensitive to begin with).

I was planning on bringing up today how I felt a bit neglected and more like he was only interested in me when he wanted sex after that incident. But I’m actually in a much better mood now despite last night, I think I overreacted, and he did have a lot on his mind yesterday (his grandmother was just diagnosed with lung cancer and he’s flying out to visit her for a week tomorrow; he had a midnight deadline for the project he was working on too). I don’t want to put any more anxiety on his shoulders.

Should I wait to discuss it with him after he returns from his grandmother’s? Should I tell him today? Should I just keep quiet and pass it off as a one-time thing? Not tell him at all?

Thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You can discuss it with him or you can DISCUSS it with him. 😉 It sounds like rather than a weighty discussion, you should simply [i]mention[/i], in a [u]positive[/u] way, how much you really enjoy it when after sex, the two of you spend the evening (night, day — whatever) together, and how when you don’t, you really miss that experience. That’s a lot difference than criticizing him or acting needy. I think it’s okay to bring it up now, as long as you put a positive spin on it and not a desperate one. 😉

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