[tnkerbell]

Hello Ms. April,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and we live together. Like every normal couple we have had our misunderstandings and arguments but we always seem to forgive eachother and forget. My boyfriend is 8-9 years older than me. I am 21 (turning 22 soon) hes 30. The age has not really affected us but I have noticed that he is in the point of his life that he knows what he wants and what he doesnt want. When he does’nt like something he will tell me and hes extremely honest and i am sensitive, but thats who he is. Recently i’ve noticed that he no longer sends me loving text messages. He use to send me paragraphs telling me how much he loves me and how we are a perfect match and etc.. he no longer does that. He does not treat me bad and he does give me attendion and he tells me he loves me and that i am a good woman often. Ive noticed that he isnt the type of guy to be “lovey dovey” which is the type of guy that i am use to. He has his moments when hes really sweet and affectionate towards me. I just miss those love notes. I have asked him before why he stopped doing that because i love it and he told me that he does it when he feels like it not when i am forcing him. thats another thing i know that i can be intense and too much on top of him “not literally” and he likes his space, ive noticed that when i give him his space he comes to me. I’ve also noticed that although we do have sex that he doesnt like it when i ask for it all the time he feels like he wants it to be a chase he wants to be the one to come to me. Do you have any tips or suggestions.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like he’s already let you know what he wants — to have the space to be the one to chase you. When you are too forward and forceful, he doesn’t get to feel like the man. So try to back off and at the same time, give him something to [i]inspire[/i] those sweet texts you’re missing. 😎

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[tnkerbell]

Another thing is that he was married he is finally getting divorced because now is when he has the money for it he got separated about 2 years ago when we started dating. FYI I was not the reason. Anyways I find myself being extremely jealous. Being younger than him I have dates guys who have either never had a girlfriend other than me or were virgins. I get so jealous of the thought of him being with another woman. It’s like I torture myself. I’ve found old pictures of them together around the house obviously hidden away because they did live there for 4 years and letters and trinkets I’ve either thrown them out or told him too. They use to text eachother back and fourth to I guess end on good terms and discuss things when they had first separetad and then according to him he told her to stop texting him and instead email him. They would email eachother about closing their savings account and her nagging about how she misses the dogs and he would tell her coldly that perhaps she should get other dogs. Anyways according to him she has not emailed him anymore FYI she has a boyfriend. Anyways the point is.. I get jealous and I’m dreading the day of the divorce at court because I don’t even want him to see her. I’m Insecure about it I guess. They have been together for like 10 years they have history. I know he’s with me and we live together and he loves me. But I guess deep down I’m afraid. And it’s ridiculous because we are serious and we have talked about the future and buying a house and we even remodeled the house we live in now because god knows that house was horribly decorated before I got there.. He’s said it himself that I inspired him to paint the house and decorate it and etc.. So if all the signs are there that I shouldn’t be insecure or jealous why do I still feel it. We have had fights about this before.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your feelings of jealousy are going to sabotage this relationship sooner or later. Until and unless you can find a way to be okay with a man you’re dating having a past, you shouldn’t date anyone who’s married, divorced, widowed or a single parent. 😕 If you’re only interested in dating men who are virgins or have never had a girlfriend, then you should do so, but pretty soon, you’re going to really limit the pool of men from whom you can date.

Obviously, the best thing you can do for yourself is to work on your issues of jealousy and self esteem. If you don’t, this relationship is going to end because of it, and if you do, you have a shot at a healthy, happy relationship — if not this one, than another one down the line. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[tnkerbell]

Another thing is that he was married he is finally getting divorced because now is when he has the money for it he got separated about 2 years ago when we started dating. FYI I was not the reason. Anyways I find myself being extremely jealous. Being younger than him I have dates guys who have either never had a girlfriend other than me or were virgins. I get so jealous of the thought of him being with another woman. It’s like I torture myself. I’ve found old pictures of them together around the house obviously hidden away because they did live there for 4 years and letters and trinkets I’ve either thrown them out or told him too. They use to text eachother back and fourth to I guess end on good terms and discuss things when they had first separetad and then according to him he told her to stop texting him and instead email him. They would email eachother about closing their savings account and her nagging about how she misses the dogs and he would tell her coldly that perhaps she should get other dogs. Anyways according to him she has not emailed him anymore FYI she has a boyfriend. Anyways the point is.. I get jealous and I’m dreading the day of the divorce at court because I don’t even want him to see her. I’m Insecure about it I guess. They have been together for like 10 years they have history. I know he’s with me and we live together and he loves me. But I guess deep down I’m afraid. And it’s ridiculous because we are serious and we have talked about the future and buying a house and we even remodeled the house we live in now because god knows that house was horribly decorated before I got there.. He’s said it himself that I inspired him to paint the house and decorate it and etc.. So if all the signs are there that I shouldn’t be insecure or jealous why do I still feel it. We have had fights about this before.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve re-posted a question I’ve already answered for you, but here’s the answer again! 🙂

[quote]It sounds like your feelings of jealousy are going to sabotage this relationship sooner or later. Until and unless you can find a way to be okay with a man you’re dating having a past, you shouldn’t date anyone who’s married, divorced, widowed or a single parent. 😕 If you’re only interested in dating men who are virgins or have never had a girlfriend, then you should do so, but pretty soon, you’re going to really limit the pool of men from whom you can date.

Obviously, the best thing you can do for yourself is to work on your issues of jealousy and self esteem. If you don’t, this relationship is going to end because of it, and if you do, you have a shot at a healthy, happy relationship — if not this one, than another one down the line. 😉

Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!

And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter @AskAprilcom[/quote]

[tnkerbell]

i am tired of always being rejected april by my boyfriend…
he always tells me that he’s a hunter and he likes to chase his prey and does not like easy things. Everytime i try to iniate sex or anything sexual he doesnt want to, hes not in the mood. I have told him that i dont like feeling rejected and that it makes me feel like im not attractive enough. He just replies by telling me that thats not the case and that he thinks i am hot. But that i,m always on top of it and that he needs to feel the need to chase me and that he doesnt like easy things. That we first started dating he said i wasnt easy hence he always wanted to have sex with me. Yesterday i went ahead and serviced myself and he walked in on me. Today i told him how i felt and he told me that yesterday he wanted to but that i had already serviced myself and that he has dreams about having sex with me but that i need to relax and back off. I dont understand we are in a relationship sex should not be in issue. So from now on i am not going after him anymore so he goes after me. and when he wants to have sex i am going to reject him so he knows how it feels.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve got a plan in place.

Good luck!

Let me know if you have any questions.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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