[Anonymous]

Dear April,
Well get ready for a long story that Ill try to make as short as possible.
I have a guy who I knew a couple of years ago. We both liked each other but we never told one another. We lost contact for over a year and then when we saw each other again, I had a boyfriend and he didn’t make a move. Then he moves away to another state, over 3,000 miles away. Over a year ago we got in contact again and admitted that we both used to like each other. We started talking on the phone for hours on end for over a year. We would often have our times where we wouldn’t talk at all unintentionally, then we’d start talking again like it was nothing. Then almost exactly a year ago, he called me up again and started talking about his girlfriend at the time, who he had been with for quite a long time. I still really really liked him. So when he told me that he had planned on marrying that girl I wanted to cry and tell him not to do it… But because of the distance and how much he was in love with her I kept quiet. It killed me but I just wanted him to be happy. They broke up a while after that. During the end of the summer last year he came down to visit some of his friends and we got to see each other. We spent the day together and… I had the most romantic day of my life. I was sure I was in love with him. When he left we decided to try a long distance relationship. It didn’t work. But… Mainly because I was kinda blinded because I liked someone who was a lil closer to home. So i let him go using the distance as the excuse, though he knew i liked this guy close to home. A month or two later we started talking like normal again. Talking to each other about everything and anything under the sun, I told him about how the guy close to home kept hurting me (emotionally) so much and how I couldn’t take it anymore and he would stay up with me and help me through it all and tell me… How beautiful i was, how much i meant to him… Basically he was in love with me… And I was really very distracted with the close to home guy. Then it came down to it where I broke his heart because I didn’t wanna give him false hope. He came back down for Christmas and stayed with some friends and I had gotten over the guy close to home, and got together with another guy. I neglected my long distance friend big time and really hurt him. I thought about him a lot though. A lot a lot. All the time over those months between summer and now. I feel so horrible for hurting him because I realized way too late that I think I’m in love with him… Now I find myself trying to get back in touch with him though he’s with that same girl he was a long time ago. Who banned him from talking to me. Now he’s talking to me on his own will against hers. And he asked me why so suddenly i wanted to get back in touch, and really… I wanna be the friends we were before everything happened between us.
Do you think that will happen?
Do you think there’s ever a chance for us again?
Because distance was never the problem… I just have a nasty habit of… Chasing those who aren’t good for me, those who don’t care for me. And throwing away something perfectly good right in front of my face.

I feel so bad for wanting to try anything anymore. Even just being his friend, I’m so cautious and scared that really… Me trying to be his friend. Is it right? Should I have just let it go? I don’t know
Please help me

– All out of love

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When you had him, you didn’t want him (twice), and now that he’s with someone else, you want him. 😕 This is a common pattern in people who don’t want to commit. Your problem isn’t distance, it’s you not wanting to be in a healthy relationship with someone who’s available. 🙁

Stop playing games with this guy and let go. Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and read it! It’s going to help you get out of this pattern and find Mr. Right.

I hope that helps. Let me know how it goes — and read the book!

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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