Okay. I’m going to give a little bit of a back story and I’m sorry for the length. About two years ago, I was in a relationship with a man who was emotionally controlling and abusive. I got pregnant, got excited because I always had known it would be slim chance for me to become pregnant, and had a miscarriage. The miscarriage enforced my beliefs that I can’t have children, but the miscarriage was caused by the stress my then fiance constantly put on me. Now I’m in a relationship with a man who is nothing like him. He’s sweet, romantic, intelligent, and believes chivalry still exists. He really is an amazing guy. I have known this man since Jr. High, but I have only been dating him for a couple of months. I’ve been looking up adoption since my miscarriage and finally decided on doing it. I’m currently working on adopting a baby who is four months old. I have spoken to my boyfriend about it and he says he wants to be involved. His exact words were, “You, me, a little person, sounds awesome.” However, I’m trying to think this through logically. I’m not sure I want to involve him in this because if things go wrong and we separate, I don’t want the baby growing up thinking he is his father and never seeing him. I also don’t want him to grow up without a father at all. I went through this with my emotionally abusive ex. I introduced him to my niece and she loved him. He was amazing with her. When he found out I was pregnant and walked away, it devastated her. I don’t want the same thing to happen with my son. The thing that worries me most is we have only been dating for a few months, but he’s talking about moving together, adopting the baby with me, being the dad, and marriage. I’m not sure it’s the best thing for the baby to make such a huge decision in so little time. In two weeks, the adoption will be final and I need to make my mind up now if I want to include him in this. He wants to be included, but I’m afraid that he’s not understanding the humongous amount of work and commitment this is to raise a baby together. I’m afraid he’ll walk away when he realizes how much work it’ll be and my son will be devastated and hurt and never understand why. Should I take the chance and involve him in this, or should I just do it on my own?
