[needit5555]

I’m confused about something in a relationship, when a woman (25y.o) says “I love you and I want to be with you”.. should I question her level of passion for me? I guess I’m questioning it. We both feel we are committed to each other.

Can you have true love between two people without passion? Isn’t it better to be friends who love each other, if there is no passion?

Hope you can straighten me out…

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’d love to help, but you have to give me more specifics. Your questions are a little too academic for me to be able to help you. Why do you question her passion or her commitment? How long have you been dating? How old are you?

I’d love to help – let me know more! 😀

[needit5555]

Hi – just as a little background, I’m 43 y.o., we have known each other for about a year. But the unusual thing is that we are in a LDR, more then a 1,500 miles separate us. I love her and feel extreme passion for her but I’m not sure if she feels the same. During this time we have seen each other twice.

Even though she says “I love you and I want to be with you”,I don’t feel that she shows the passion. I assume this should include thinking about me, wanting to be with me, making me a priority in her life, etc. Aren’t these part of being in love? I struggling to see if its better to be friends rather then lovers. I asked her this and she says:

“yes i love you and i want to be with you. why would we just be friends? we talked about this before…you don’t have to keep thinking about the right thing to do for me. I can decide for myself, I want to be with you. Why do u have so many doubts about me? It does hurt a little when u suggest that we should just be friends.”

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thank you for the details. They help! 🙂

You’re confused because you have a passionate relationship — [i]from a distance[/i] that I assume is mostly written, skype and phone based. You’ve only had two real dates in one year. That’s enough to make anyone question the relationship.

She’s probably uncertain about your ability to make a commitment if you’ve only taken her on two dates in a year, and that makes her hold back to protect her feelings. In turn, you doubt her passion.

I don’t think you can decide what kind of relationship you have without real life dates. The long distance relationship over a prolonged period of time keeps this from being real for her — and perhaps for you, too.

Why not choose someone you can date face to face?

I hope that helps — let me know how things go. And I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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