You didn’t do anything wrong — she’s just not into you. Whenever you date a person, you should use the first three months of dating to decide if you both want to continue dating, and the second three months to decide if you want to be monogamous. When you veer off those guidelines, you will run into problems because you’ll move too fast without really getting to know each other and make decisions too quickly without the benefit of time. That’s what happened. During those first four months, she decided she didn’t want to continue dating you — and that happens in most cases. People date and decide that after they get to know each other, and themselves, that it’s not a good match. There are many reasons and only some of them have to do with you. Others have to do with the person rejecting you. They may not be ready. They may realize you’re not a compatible match. They may accept that this was just a rebound to help them get over someone else — in this case, it was her five year relationship with another man, that had just ended. This is normal, and it’s no one’s fault. It’s just the way people learn and decide whether a relationship is going to work for them or not.
Unfortunately for you in this case, it only takes one person to end the relationship, and that’s her. In addition to which the two of you are in different countries. This makes a reunion on a very short-term relationship, super difficult. 🙁 I know you really like her, but she doesn’t want to continue dating and I think you should accept that closed door with grace and be happy that you didn’t invest more time in a relationship that didn’t play out.
I’m sorry that this is disappointing, but I think that if you look for someone to date who is more ready and less in recovery from a break up, you’ll have more success next time around. I hope that helps! 🙂
