[Anonymous]

Ok so my mom set me up with this date with this girl at Starbucks. I didn’t even know till i came home from work one day and I was like sweet. She had just recently went on break with her boyfriend, i didn’t find out till she told me on the first date. So We met at the olive garden and she planned on a quick dinner and leaving cuz I asked her to the movies over a text after dinner and she said no so I guess she didn’t think i would have been as good looking as I was or as personable either or something. As soon as I walked in she was sitting very close to me while we were waiting for a table with her knees and legs to as close to my body as you could get them and she was the one talking and asking all the questions I was surprised that she was that into me right off the bat. But anyways the night couldn’t have went better we talked and ate we there for literally 3 hours I asked her to a movie again cuz she brought it up and said she hasn’t seen a movie for a while and that she wanted to go see one so I asked her if she wanted to after said she would love to but she had work the next morning. We talked about everything about ex’s and all that and interests and college everything. What caught my attention as that she said her boyfriend was controlling and that she had to delete her facebook cuz of it and that she wasn’t sure of going on with them and wasn’t sure about this date because she didn’t want the bf to find out cuz she didn’t want problems until her mom pushed her to but anyways the night went good I told her that she should be able to do what she wants to do and all that and that and she said that she had to figure what they wanted to do but was edging towards moving on and that she wanted to go on this date and that the bf assumed they were getting back together but she made it sound like she wanted to move on and had enough of the bfs controlling crap. So anyways I was the one who ended the night because it was getting late and she said she had work but it seemed like she wanted it to go on a little longer so we hugged and I told her I had a good time and she said she really did 2 and I asked her if she would like to hangout again and she said yes and that she would give me her schedule for this week and that she wanted me to text her. So anyways I didn’t text her for 4 days and my mom went in to Starbucks and the girl brought it up and told my mom which was surprising and told my mom that she thought I was really good looking that I was smart and that I was cool and that she said yes to the next date and that we were going to the movies and all that and which was true I did ask her on a 2nd date that she said yes too and we hug n left but We never planned on going to the movies which is w.e I guess you could say that lol But anyways my mom made it sound like she didn’t know anything that was going on when I told my mom everything so my mom [played stupid so she would get an honest opinion and if she wasn’t into me I don’t think she would have said anything to my mom or gave my mom her number to give to me in the first place. And my mom said that everyone had mentioned the date to her in Starbucks. So I text her and ask her when shes free to go on the 2nd date I said hangout cuz date can sometimes scare a girl especially with a new guy and on break so she said well I picked up some xtra hours so I cant this week when are you free early next week.. I said Tuesday is that good? and she didn’t answer for about an hour and the longest it take her is an hour to answer so I said as in next tuesday to make sure she didn’t think i was dumb *** and didnt get that she was working this week and to get a response lol And she still hasn’t answered?? This was yesterday that i text her but I am a little worried like if you like someone wouldn’t you answer them and why would you pick up extra hours if you knew that they were going to plan on going on a second date with you? Its like mixed signals in person she acts like she is into me even towards my mom and other people in Starbucks and me and there is no way she is faking it trust me i kno when someone is faking I had a ***** of an ex gf for 3 years. So whats going on? Is she just like nervous to be with a new person? Or is she still not over the Ex? Like whats going on?

[Ask April Masini]

I think you’re reading too much into the delay. It sounds like your first date went great 😀 and there’s really no reason to think she doesn’t want to go on a second date, except that she didn’t answer your text asking her out. My suggestion is to try a different method, like the phone, and call her up and ask her on a second date. Don’t tell her you want to hang out because women want to be treated specially and hanging out indicates you’re relegating her to a “just friends” level or a “friends with benefits” level. Keep her on that pedestal where you take her out and get to know her because you think she’s special.

If she tells you no on the phone, or doesn’t return that call (if you leave a message) then and only then do I think it’s fair to assume that she’s not interested. But it’s too early to jump to that conclusion. Your idea that she picked up extra hours at work to avoid you doesn’t really make sense because lots of people pick up extra hours to make more money — not to avoid someone. 😆

So give her a call and ask her out on a second date — and let us all know how it goes! 😀

And…don’t forget to become a member (for free!) of my AskApril.com Facebook group page at this link: [url][/url]. See you there! 😀

[Anonymous]

April you are absolutely right, its funny you said that because my mother said the same thing! Yesterday i did get a text from her though that said she was really sorry that she didn’t answer and the reason she didn’t was cuz he ex bf was going through her phone and flipped out and that she was really sorry. I am a little upset that she is hanging out with her ex bf and I don’t know how to go about this situation. I know old habit’s are hard to break and her ex bf is really controlling and doesn’t seem to respect her boundaries but she his letting him do it. How does some one move on with some one else when they cant break there old habits?? How do I go about this situation? I haven’t answered her or anything which i thought was the best idea till I know what is best to do.

[Ask April Masini]

You’ve only had one date, so you don’t really have standing to be upset about her ex-boyfriend still being in her life. However, as you get to know her, learn and decide what kind of a real threat he is or isn’t. If the two of you begin to like each other more and more, I suspect she’ll be less interested in mentioning or spending time with an ex-boyfriend.

So, ask her out! 😀

And — become a member of my Facebook group! I didn’t see you there. Check it out at this link: [url][/url]. Click on ‘become a member’. 🙂

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