[Dsadsadsa22]

My fiance and I met in April 2011 she had a boyfriend I had just broken up with my girlfriend. We texted every now and then and got together one day talked a lot. Eventually as things moved on she started liking me while she had a boyfriend. They broke up and we started to really talk about 2 weeks later we started getting physically into it and we spent everyday together the whole summer and eventually becoming official in August 2011. She since then has struggled with many problems first: right when we got together she started “missing her ex” she went and picked him up one night when he was drunk and said he kissed her later to find out she lied to me about it that they kissed and made out and she went along with it…. I forgave her for this. Second she has gotten extremely abusive to the point where I now have scars all over my arms I constantly have scratches and bruises from her. She is ADD and I believe there is more than that…. Third about 3 months ago she met this guy and I didn’t know they texted but found out later in a game of truth or dare she was very flirty with him and led him on and he ended up sending a dick picture, I got mad about this and told her I can’t accept her talking to him anymore and she blamed me and said I blew up….. I have never gotten closure on this issue or an apology. Fourth she has now started a new job working with alot of men and she admits shes very flirty with them and has told me they all want to sleep with her she even hung out alone with this guy while i was at work. I have grown huge trust problems with her as I have never fully gotten closure on either of those issues and she blows up when i bring them up. Then the last 2 weeks she started secretly emailing her ex which i found out about when she left them up on our computer i confronted her and she said they are just catching up i question why daily talking is catching up. I dont know how to handle all this as everyday I battle trust issues and feel as if she doesnt love me after a year now I am getting stressed and depressed and its a non issue to her or opening old wounds if i bring it up to her………. What do i do??? I love her and love the good times but the bad is getting too tough for me

[Dsadsadsa22]

Important details: She was with her boyfriend for 6+ years we are both 20 years old today. We moved in together 2 months ago and got engaged 3 weeks ago. It is very hard to bring up issues with her as she gets very defensive and abusive when she doesn’t like the conversation.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My advice is to break the engagement, move out of the place you’re living in with her, and move on. This is not your Ms. Right and the “trust issues” you’re having are more than trust issues. She’s not being loyal, faithful or showing any signs of interest in a monogamous relationship with you.

I know you want things to be different, but since you can only change yourself, and she seems to be eliciting a pretty clear pattern of behavior, the ball is in your court. Either you stay and expect more of the same, or you move on and choose someone who is into you next time around. My vote is for the latter. 😉

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