[blissie]

Even though ive been a man in the relationship and paid for our one year anniversary weekend away as well her birthday very recently, my girlfriend broke up with me for the forth time.

Dont get me wrong, she has been very good to me such as little suprise’s here and there, being there when I needed her, supportive and being kind to my family and dont look at it as being used as we shared things and when shes nice, I cant ask for a better person but When she was cold, she was a different girl all together but put her in her place when need be. Her ex boyfriend was a lay about with no drive and spark which im the complete oposite which she wanted in her next relationship which was me. However now she had it, she didnt know how to handle it or she didnt want what she desired for.. ok I wasnt perfect, got things wrong sometimes, bought her the wrong colour vans etc general typical guy stuff but overall a good honest person who will protect his woman on all angles and she knew that and got many things right too apart from the wrong ones

She was with her ex for 4 years then met me 5 or 6 months later ( hmm rebound maybe) when we broke up the first time, her excuse was I was a little asentric and found it cringe, however we got back together. The second one was that we had no banter even though we did but she recons it wasnt the same as with her ex. She clearly said that there are soo many better things about me compare to her ex but banter is a huge thing to her so mattered alot in our relationship. As the months went on, we spoke about me moving in with her, she gave me her flat keys, spoke about holidays, she spoke about marriage and children even and during our relationship we went away many times. I even thought she might crash as things were being rushed

I didnt change as a person to suit her needs as I was being me. She liked and love that about me but started to text her ex boyfriend again and realise this so pulled her up. She stated that she missed the banter and she was stop doing it as she knew it was wrong. She also said that she didnt love him anymore bu only missed the friendship hmm really?! alarm bells were ringing then.!

I guess it doesnt help her being in contact with his sisters here and there as that brings back memorys surley?! Its crazy, there would be a few weeks were she tells me she loves me and cant wait to see me then the next week would be pure coldness. Ive been through hell and back, lost weight, cant eat like i used to and lacked gym.. she also said that her feelings are up and down with me too.. wow whats going on?! 🙁 The day/evening we broke up she was hinting that she was in the same place again so before she used the words which I knew she was
gonna say,

I decided to get up, pack my clothes and my last words were ” one day you will realise what you have lost” a few days after she text me and said about picking up the rest of my clothes and she cant keep dragging this on and im sure I dont want to either but blanked the text then went to her flat and packed the rest then left a note basically saying ” i love u too, ill miss you, good bye and left her key. She then text me saying ” You have left some more items here that you have forgotten like your ring, trousers ect and im so sorry about this and ill miss you too X” but blanked and didnt reply to the text again. She deleted me from facebook along the photo’s which messed my head up more. I miss her so much as its been one week and 4 days and its tearing me apart but have been strong by not contacting her and havent been begging her to take me back or havent been trying to call her and email etc.

However I owe her some money which she hasnt mentioned but am planning to put it in an envelope and post it to her. Maybe she hasnt mentioned the money and to test me if I give it back huh?! My question is should I leave a note alongside the money and say I want to cut all contact and I need space even though I left a note saying good bye to her etc.. or should I just post the money and dissapear from the face of the earth without a message or fight for the relationship.. so confussed now!! help me please…

[AskApril Masini]

Your instincts are what you should follow. This isn’t your Ms. Right. She’s not as into you as you are into her, and when you are together, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop — in other words, breaking up is part of your relationship together — and that’s not healthy. In fact, you’ve recognized that, yourself. What’s going on is that you’re having trouble moving on. You’re not alone — breaking up and moving on is hard for everyone, and there are no short cuts, but there are things you can do to move forward instead of backwards.

First of all, return the money you owe her by mail (no contact with her) and then let go and cut off all communication. At the same time, start focusing on you. Being idle is your enemy — staying busy and productive is your friend! 😉 Start some new things — like taking up a new sport, checking out a new coffee shop, going to events you haven’t gone to, and getting together with family and friends. Start smiling and flirting with all the women you meet — trying counting and flirting with a dozen women each day! And let your friends and family know you’re single again and back in the game so that they can invite you and introduce you to interesting women who may be right for you.

Getting out of the break up rut isn’t easy, but you’ll feel so much better when you!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[blissie]

Your right, I’ve given enough chances and given all what I can and if she can’t realise that then that’s not my issue. Must think of myself now and eventually find someone that will appreciate me for my qualities and that can smell the coffee when it’s presented to them. Thank u for your words 🙂

[AskApril Masini]

You’re very welcome. 😀

Good luck!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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[Lune David]

Man, four breakups is already your answer. That’s not a relationship, that’s a subscription to stress 😅. Hot one week, cold the next — anyone would lose their mind dealing with that.

The ex, the “banter” excuse, the mixed signals… too much drama for someone who clearly tried to do things right. Ask April is spot on here: when you’re always waiting for the next breakup, it’s time to step off the ride.

Send the money back, no note, no speech, no sequel. Disappear, heal, hit the gym again, and let someone else deal with the hot-and-cold weather report.

[Member]

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