[73sub02]

I’m in love with a single mother of one, she broke off our relationship and she refuses to see me and barely communicates. We had a great relationship for 6 months! Great common interests, intense sex, and I absolutely loved and got along great with her child- overall we connected extremely well. Far better than any other relationship I’ve had- and she constantly told me about how happy she was and asked me why I was so good to her. I am 32 and have my life put together, never married and no kids. She is 28 with a 7 year old, married for 6 years and divorced- living in an apartment. Like any couple, we had arguments and a couple tough times but we worked them out. So one day after work I stopped by her place to hang out and she tells me the “this isn’t working for me and I want to be single for once” story. I was stunned, but held my composure and told her I understand. We did not talk for a month after, then she initiated contact and we have been texting since then (3 months). She is hot and cold, sometimes she immediately replies to with interest, but mostly I get blown off. She will not answer a phone call because she hates them anyway. I have invited her out to get a drink and catch up, told her I want to come by and say hi, etc. and get shot down immediately. Our mutual friends assure me she just needs time to get to know herself better- and I am so happy that she wants this- she needs it and I’m happy she has come to this realization- I’m just plain pissed off that it cost me a great relationship. I am a patient Man but my patience is wearing thin. I’ve been on several dates with other women since then but cannot stop thinking about this girl. I did something I’ve never done and told her of my feelings for her (last week) and that I hope one day there will be a time and a place to be together again- but she stonewalls me with one liners. I realize this was not a smart thing to do but I’m very close to throwing in the towel and moving on- so why not. I’ve straight up called her out and told her that she is a bitch, it pissed her off really good and, as expected, we exchanged some spicy texts. And that leaves me to where I’m at now. I am not expecting to get back together at this point but I have not lost all hope. I realize that the chances of that happening are very bad. I simply just want closure that she refuses to give- a simple “are you in or out? “. Any advice is appreciated- Thanks

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Closure comes in many forms, and you many not realize you already have it because it isn’t the way you want it. It sounds like your expressing your frustration and anger and calling her the b word, and then exchanging spicy texts, was the end. In fact, that’s the closure you’ve been looking for. 😉 It may not be the way you would wrap things up, but it is for her. If you still feel like you need some personal way to wind things up, then delete her phone number or toss out her photos. That type of ritual may give you the closure you didn’t get from her. You can have closure with her! 😉

As for relationships, it’s very difficult to find someone you think is awesome — who isn’t ready for the relationship that you are. Having compatibility in wanting the same thing at the same time, is crucial for relationship success. I’m not sure how long she had been a single mother before you met, but sometimes post-divorce, people need time to process the failed marriage that led them to being a single parent. She may still be processing. It’s different for everyone. Again, I don’t know her timeline, so I can just address the fact that the two of you were not in the same place on the relationship timeline, at the same time.

Hope that helps!

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[73sub02]

Thank you for the advice, I understand that I have the option to close with her and have thought about it many many times, but I cannot give up on her that easy. We exchanged texts recently and for the first time she began to get emotional. She told me that being rude to her was definitely no way to win her back, and that we would probably not be in a relationship again. And then she went on to point out specific examples that she was upset with me about, leading up to the realization that she was mostly upset with me during our time together because she believes I did not put enough effort in spending more time with her. Her schedule and my schedule did not allow ample time for us -in her opinion. But I spent as much time as possible with her! And honestly, It wasn’t until the last 4 months of our relationship that she allowed me to come over and hang out with her and her child/stay the night with them both. So in light of this new information It’s obvious we did not communicate well with each other, I had no idea she felt this way until now. There is a very big part of me that cannot give up, I would love the opportunity to build a stronger relationship with her if she would be interested in giving it another shot. There is also a smaller part of me that says to cut my losses and move on- forget her. I am waiting until next week to talk again- any help/advice would be great.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

If you have any specific questions, I’m happy to answer them. 🙂

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[DenellEposey]

You are totally idiot!
Just go bang her. She will not say a word.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

Interesting response…

[Member]

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