[Anonymous]

Hi,

I would be very grateful to get some advices and clarification about whether I should move on or keep hope…

I really liked a guy from my research group at school for several months and have been speculating about whether he liked me or not.
Let me tell you how the story went:

I have been really attracted to this boy and he has been flirting playfully with me a few times; he even once joked that we should date but I thought that he was only teasing me and I replied to him that I would rather go out with someone more mature… it seemed to have hurt him on the spot but he seemed pretty ok afterwards.
Several people in our group who know him well(different age groups and cultures) have been telling me that his attitude was different with me and that they all thought he was interested with me…
2 weeks ago his best friend told me that the guy really really liked me even though he never told him anything but that his attitude said it all. He said that we should start something before he leaves school and we do not see each other anymore . He encouraged me to go out with him. I eventually told his friend that ok, I was interested too and he was very happy andd told me that he would encourage his friend to make a move because I will be open.
The boy did not say anything and he seemed a bit surprised when his friend announced him that, from what the friend told me.
One week later, his friend asked him whether he had made up his mind to ask me out or not and from what he told me, the boy said, he is not saying no but he is not saying yes either.
His friend told me that it is not a good sign when a guy says something like that and I am better off finding someone better. Some friends close to me have told me that it is a polite way of saying no, when you do not want to hurt the girl…
The friend told me that he should not have encouraged me to manifest my interest and now I feel really bad because all the people in the group know that I was interested
and the boy was not and it is really shameful.
The situation really saddens me because I have the impression that he had been playing with my feelings all along because he knew that I really liked him and therefore, he was using me to increase his self-esteem, a bit like a love slave. It is something very mean to give someone false hopes when you know that they are at your mercy because they have feelings for you.
It is unfortunately a world governed by beauty and appearance and this boy is handsome and very focussed on appearance. I knew that he is looking for a girl who is very beautiful and I, myself, know very well that I am very average in terms of looks.
Yet, it may be that he is only waiting for me to make a move too… what should I do?

Thanks

[Ask April Masini]

You are NOT a love slave. 😯 What you did was engage in gossip and now you’re embarrassed that everyone knows your feelings. It would have been much better not to get involved with a third party. If this guy likes you, he’ll ask you out on a date. You should NOT “make a move” to see if he likes you.

However…you should buy my book called Think & Date Like A Man, so that you understand how to get a man to like you, ask you out, and to make sure he’s yours! You can get the book at this link: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You really need advice on how to get guys to notice you and to let them know you’re interested WITHOUT going through a third party. This book will help you a lot.

So read it, and let me know what you think, and if it helps. I’d love to know.

Also, join me on Facebook. Here’s the link to become a free member of AskApril.com on Facebook: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thanks,

I bought the book and I’ll read it.
From what you are saying, it seems that all hopes are not lost yet then…
I guess that he must be somehow attracted to me if he “flirts” playfully with me, jokes that we are dating in front of my friends, wants me to sleep at his place when we do late group outings and I miss the metro and seems sad when I refuse to come to outings he organises.
I’ll try to get as much insights as possible from this book and then… come what may I guess…
If things don’t work out with him , there are other fishes in the sea!

Thanks April!

[Ask April Masini]

Yes — it’s not over. And yes, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] will help you learn and develop the tools you need to get him to ask you out.

I’m glad you bought the book! 😀 Please read it, now! 😆 And let me know how it helps, specifically.

In the meantime, please join me on Facebook! Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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