Hi April
I asked for your advice a while back and would like to see if you could help here.
To quickly summarize, I had a friendship with a co-worker blossom into something more. While it never went into a full on relationship, we connected and have strong feelings for one another. Well, about 6 months ago I tried to push for that relationship to go to a committed level and it didn’t turn out. I got mad, walked away, and she went back with her old boyfriend.
About three months later, we started talking again. That ‘talking’ turned into some strong flirtation back and forth. It got pretty heavy up until she said that it wasn’t right and it needed to stop. I became upset about being teased and then backed-off, so I went into extreme no contact for a month and refused her many attempts to reach out. During this time, she was sent home a few times crying due to me refusing to even say ‘hello’. I could tell she really cared and missed me, but I didn’t crack. I made it clear when i last spoke to her then the only way we were going to be together is by relationship and NOT as friends and not to ever speak to me unless she was prepared to move forward,
Well, about 3 weeks ago – she wrote me a long message saying she loves me and thinks about me all the time. She realizes she made a mistake and hates the situation right now. Once again, she broke down in the office when I turned away from a chance to say hi. I felt so bad that I put some flowers on her desk before she got in the next morning with a simple note saying ‘sorry’. The next day, she sent me a text saying how much she misses me and I started to chat back. During this, she revealed once again she loves me and needs time to fix this situation because she hates being away from me. I agreed to give her time, but made it clear what I expect.
She now is in the process of breaking up with him. She doesn’t hate him, but it wasn’t right. Everyone tells me to give her some space to do this and not to expect a relationship to start up with me instantly as it will still be tough to leave the other guy. The process has started, but I am getting annoyed with how quiet things have become. I guess I was expecting a more dramatic turn of events where we would be closer now, but it seems opposite. Once again, I know it’s still difficult for her and I’m trying not to pressure – but I feel like I am being out on the back burner despite all these feelings she revealed to bring me back into her life.
So, am I doing the right thing by not pressing? Should I give her space during all of this? What can I do to keep myself from going nuts? I don’t want to ruin all of this, but I don’t want all those feelings to be forgotten during this time. She doesn’t want to talk about it when I ask and she says she is so stressed over it all. All she asked that I give her time and we will figure it all out once her current situation is resolved.
Any thoughts? I do LOVE this girl, so I’m trying to do this right and give us the best chance.
