[sunshinex1517]

I know, I know, another “does he like me?”/office romance post.

Thank you for reading this. I appreciate any replies this gets. I’ve read so many articles and information trying to figure out what’s going on, but I think I’ve overloaded and I really just need someone to give it to me straight. I’d like to preface this post with how dumb I feel for having a crush on someone at work, and that I’m not looking to get in between anyone or make my life worse by having an office romance. Sometimes you just can’t help who you like.

There is a guy that I work with that I am crushing on really hard. He was one of the people that interviewed me for my position, and even when I first met him I was physically attracted to him. He’s completely my type, but now that I work with him and have gotten to know him, I’ve come to see how great of a person he is. He makes me laugh and is smart and all of those lovely things you gush about when you think highly of a person (as a human being). So, after learning the ropes of the office and my responsibilities and working closely with him to start pulling my weight I was pretty much knee deep in a crush. Then, I spent an entire week working side-by-side with him and saw a bunch of signs. He was mirroring me, we laughed and talked and felt comfortable for the most part. We made eye contact frequently, often for longer than normal. When I returned to my desk at the end of the week he would make a point of looking at me every time he passed by, and I was a little coy about making eye contact with him. He even came by my desk to see how I was doing and mirrored me to the extent that he bit his lip – it’s a habit of mine, and I nearly died when he did it. All the stomach flips and butterflies and all that. This is the first time I’ve allowed myself any kind of feelings for anyone in over a year, and I can’t even remember the last time I had a crush, so that’s why I’m being detective and slightly obsessive (much to my practical side’s chagrin). Bottom line is that I definitely thought there was some sort of vibe there. I like to think that I’m astute, but even if I had a cinder block for a brain I could see that he at least enjoyed my presence, if not more.

After that, he started behaving differently. It was pretty much over the weekend that his behavior towards me changed. He has stopped making such frequent eye-contact, rarely looks at me when he passes, his speech is less animated and while we still joke around sometimes and he initiates conversation when we’re having lunch, I get the overwhelming feeling that I’ve done something wrong. Recently, while a bunch of us were out for after work drinks, I learned that he has a girlfriend. I have no idea how serious they are or any of that, but is that why he is acting differently? Was I blatantly obvious and scare him? Did I read him all wrong and get my hopes up for nothing? (The answer to that particular question is probably “yes”) He still passes by me, and seems to me to come by my desk when it is out of the way. I may just be desperate to see it that way, but the passing by and such doesn’t involve the eye contact it did before. If I look up at him now in hopes of catching his eye he has a small smile or pleasant expression on his face but he doesn’t look at me. He looks me in the eye when we’re speaking, and if our eyes meet in a setting where a bunch of people are around he looks away very quickly. I feel rather foolish about being so eager and involved with this, and if I had known about his girlfriend I wouldn’t have flirted with him or teased him or anything like that.

More importantly, is there a way that I can act to make him more comfortable so that we can be friends? I’m not trying to steal anyone’s boyfriend, but there has to be a medium between the magical rainbow land of thinking he likes me and this icy place we’re in now. Does he feel threatened by me? Is there a chance that he likes me?

[AskApril Masini]

This is pretty simple: If a guy likes you enough to ask you out on a date, he will.

Until then, don’t pretend to be confused. Instead, work on being the best you there is so that you improve your odds of him asking you out. 😉 Guys like women they have to chase after, and women who are successful and sought after are more attractive to guys and make them feel more like a winner if they can get her, than those who are kind of just “there” like a booby prize or a party favor everyone gets at the end of the event, than someone he has to win over.

Here’s the link to a book I wrote for women who want to get the guy and keep him. I think it will help you! It’s called [b]Think & Date Like A Man[/b], and you can buy it here: [url]https://askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

Hope that helps. And you’re welcome to ask me any other questions you have.

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