[AnnandBhanu]

I have been dating this guy for 5 months. He was everything I was looking for and more. We both felt like we had known each other for a lifetime. He told me he had fallen for me and that he loved me. We spoke on the phone for hours and sent nice messages to each other throughout the day. He seemed addicted to me, as I was to him.

Unfortunately he went into hospital for surgery. He experienced many life thretening complications, and has now been in hospital for over 2 months.

As the days pass I hear from him less and less. He communicates to me as if I am a stranger and takes hours, if not days to respond to my messages. (I don’t bombard him with texts, once every 3-4 days) He doesn’t answer his phone when I call him, and 4 out of 10 times he returns my calls.

He told me that because our relationship is very new, there are some family members he would like me to ovoid as this saves him having to introduce me and explain How we met. Under the circumstances of being in hospital I can sort of understand and respect it.

However why can’t he initiate contact or be a little bit loving when he “accessionally” texts me back. I am on such an emotional roller coaster of emotions and it’s really weighing me down. We had something so special and truly amazing. How can one go from that to this.

I am not being needy nor bombarding him with cereal texts. I am respecting his space and accessionally texting to find out how he is getting on. It’s been two months he has been trapped in the hospital (poor thing) and I feel I’m losing the absolute love of my life.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The relationship is new, and he doesn’t feel as committed to it as you do. That’s the bottom line. But he’s not breaking up with you. So, rather than question his choices or criticize them, focus on what’s good between you. Send him gifts. Visit him. Write letters — and don’t dwell on problems, instead, dwell on his getting better and your part in that process. When things like this happen in life — whether they’re illnesses, accidents, job set backs — they are opportunities to explore a different part of the relationship and find out who you both function when the chips are down, not just when things are rosy. I think you’re justified in feeling disappointed, but I’d hate to see you focus on that when there’s still good between you. Shift focus and spend your energy on positive output. 🙂

[Member]

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