[Bcody]

I met a guy 5 months ago through mutual friends at a party. We hit it off instantly and started seeing each other. Everything was absolutely amazing. I had never met someone that I connected with on this level. He is everything I’ve ever wanted and I fell completely in love with him and I felt like he was falling in love with me too. A month or so in he told me he was planning on moving away (pretty far) in the summer. Regardless of this we kept seeing each other and getting closer. Mid December he started to get distant which I assumed was mostly due to his very demanding job. We spoke several times and he said he had been thinking about things a lot and he decided it would be best for us to stop seeing each other now due to him moving in 6 months. He said he didnt want to get attached to someone just to leave them. I thought about it and I told him I would like for us to continue seeing each other and see what happens between now as then. Even said that if things went well and got serious that I would be willing to move with him if it were possible. Which I meant and I had actually looked at moving to that area in the past because a sport I love is very popular in that area. When he mentioned back in October that he was planning to move there I got a little too carried away dreaming of going there with him. Thought it was fate lol anyways…he said he is moving in with a friend he was in the army with and wouldn’t feel right about moving me in there too. He doesn’t seem to be considering any other options. He is very honest and level headed, at 31 I would expect him to be. I am 23 and I consider myself to be honest and level headed as well. I have met his family and he has met mine. We have a lot in common, get along great, have similar interests and values. Everything between us is amazing. Except that he is moving and doesn’t see a way to continue seeing each other. He says he has feeling for me and I feel he does, truly. I told him I never thought I would meet someone like him and he said “me either”. He also said it would be different if he weren’t moving. I don’t know where to go from here. If he has feelings for me then why won’t he agree to look at other options? Why won’t he at least continue to see where things could go between now and July?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]If he has feelings for me then why won’t he agree to look at other options? [/quote]

Because he doesn’t want to. 😳

[quote]Why won’t he at least continue to see where things could go between now and July?[/quote]

Because he doesn’t want to. 😳

He wants this to end, and you aren’t accepting that. My advice is to move on and find someone who’s compatible with you — in feelings and in behavior. 😉

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[Bcody]

Okay so wouldn’t it be easier for him to just say he doesn’t have feelings for me? Why start something and get 4-5 months in if he knew from the start that he would end it strictly because he is moving?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Okay so wouldn’t it be easier for him to just say he doesn’t have feelings for me?[/quote]

No.

[quote] Why start something and get 4-5 months in if he knew from the start that he would end it strictly because he is moving?[/quote]

Because he wasn’t thinking about a future with you. He was just in it for the “now” value.

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[Bcody]

Why wouldn’t it be easier for him to just say he doesn’t have feelings for me? It would make it easier for me! It’s hard letting go knowing he DOES have feelings for me. Also, we didn’t talk at all for a week. Neither of us tried to reach the other. But yesterday he sent me a text letting me know he got a new number. Why would he give me his new number? I read into things like that. Can’t help it I guess.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Why wouldn’t it be easier for him to just say he doesn’t have feelings for me?[/quote]

Because then he would have to deal with your emotions and he doesn’t want to do that. 😳 Guys don’t like talking about their feelings. Or yours.

[quote]It would make it easier for me! [/quote]

Of course it would, but he isn’t thinking about making it easier for you. He’s thinking about making it easier for himself. And you’re not thinking about him, you’re just thinking about yourself. 😕 If you want to understand men, then you have to be able to put yourself in their shoes. It’s very important to understand how they think and not impute your feelings and your behavior to him. 😉

[quote]Why would he give me his new number?[/quote]

Because he wants you to be able to contact him.

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[Bcody]

That’s what I don’t understand. Why does he want me to be able to contact him?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

In case you want to stay in touch.

[Bcody]

Is it possibly he doesn’t know for certain what he wants?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve ignored everything he’s said and done since you met him. 😳 And now you’re trying to get me to say that he’s still interested in you when he’s made it clear that this was a short term thing, and he was honest with you about this from the get go.

It’s time for you to accept that this was never going to be long-term in his mind. He was honest with you about it. Accept the break up and move on. 😉

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[Bcody]

No. I have misunderstood what he has said and done in the last month and a half. Not from the beginning. I haven’t ignored it. I have questioned it because he has said and done things that contradict other things he has said and done. Which is why I wonder if he is unsure of what he wants. He told me at one point that he was confused and didn’t know what to do. Why wouldn’t he want to continue if he had feelings for me ad he knows I have feelings for him? I he fighting his feelings or are they just not strong enough?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]Why wouldn’t he want to continue if he had feelings for me ad he knows I have feelings for him?[/quote]

Because he’s not interested in continuing. He doesn’t want to.

[quote]Is he fighting his feelings or are they just not strong enough?[/quote]

They’re not strong enough.

[Member]

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