[Christoph]

This is a change up I’m sure. I dated this woman 14yrs ago, she was divorced this year and during the separation and divorce we reconnected and now were seriously dating. Over the past nine plus months we’ve had some hiccups but everything is going great – oh and we’re currently in a LDR. The funny thing is I’m more romantic and relationship oriented than she is. I’m sure this is from her feelings over being divorced and being a little jaded over the possibility of a new loving relationship. My question is this. Over the past nine plus months we’ve had a very active text and phone connection. We’d talk for hours at night and if I texted her no matter how busy she was she’d respond. And always if I texted I misss you , she’d respond I miss you too – now she rarely responds with a loving or affectionate response. Recently we’ve gone from talking for hours to maybe an hour or less. I’m ok with that as I figured it would taper off a little. But what gives me anxiety is now her texting frequency, responses and content are in frequent at best. Now if I text her it takes a very long time to get a response if I get one at all. The content is rarely filled with the same fun, loving, affectionate responses we’ve shared in the past. When we talk on the phone everything seems normal but clearly something is going on now that she is obviously not wanting to respond. If she wanted to respond she would no matter how busy she was – just as she did in the beginning. Should I be worried or is this a normal situation that will soon be back on track?

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure if you should be worried — it depends what you want from the relationship. LDRs are not for everyone…. and it sounds like she’s definitely losing some interest because of her lack of texting.

Decide what you want from the relationship and how to get it. She may feel that things are in limbo with you, while other men are pursuing her more seriously, and she’s interested in something more serious.

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[Christoph]

Thanks for the reply. We are very serious and not dating anyone else. Her life is hectic with two kids work and more. But over the first year and especially the last nine months are texting and talking communication has been great. Only in the last month or so has her frequency and the content of the texts changed. She tells me everything is great and that she’s just busy. I expected some tapering but it’s really fallen off. She made time in the past and was just as busy. I don’t think she’s pulling away maybe she’s content knows I’m
Not going anywhere and just doesn’t think the effort is necessary?? She did mention recently in general terns that saying thank you , I love you , I miss you etc is exhausting. She thinks once you know it shouldn’t be expected. I don’t ask much from her with regard to her time as a whole but I do belive that we’ve had great communication up til now and I think thats vital to a LDR. Maybe she just needs a little slow down. Maybe I’m just giving myself a complex. 😉

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

How often do you actually see each other in person?

[Christoph]

Once a month.

[Christoph]

Once a month for a week. I go there typically.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

She’s a single, working mother with two kids, and she probably [i]is[/i] exhausted, but being too tired to express affection isn’t a good sign for the future of a relationship. 😳 It sounds like she’s losing interest in the romance and she’s letting you know with her behavior. Instead of putting the burden on her, my advice is that you step up your game to impress her and to get the relationship out of the doldrums that it appears to be sinking into. Also, keep your eye on the clock and understand that at six months, people who are dating decide whether or not this is going to be a serious relationship, and at about a year, they make move towards a commitment. If she’s looking to get married, she’s probably assessing the relationship on some form of this clock-scale.

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[Jay Cee]

LDR situation is never easy. It needs patient and trust to each other. About your situation that your girl is single mother and busy to make a living, maybe she is not into romance like text message etc. Maybe you should double your effort, show her how much you like her and you’re serious for her, then if it’s not work, you should find another girl. Not all long distance relationship is worked.

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