[Princesspari2401]

Well we broke up a year ago. We had a great 4 months relationship. For me it was a sudden thing that happened. We had little fights before and suddenly one day he said we are breaking up. Well i cried and all that stuff happened. But after a year also i have not been able to move on from him. I know that he is never gonna come back. We can meet we can talk but being in a relationship again is not going to happen. Then too my mind keeps thinking about him and i feel like am sad all the time wanting him back. So how to move on? And i had received gifts from him when we were in a relationship but i never got chance in 4 months time to gift him back so i feel i have taken too much from him and have not given him back so what to do of that should i buy him some new gifts or give old one back or what else?
All he has to say is everything was right in our relationship except time and i don’t know what to say.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You need to find a way to move on. Forget the gifts. It’s been a year since the break up. Don’t worry about them. You’re trying to use them to convince yourself that a relationship is still viable. It isn’t. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need a strong nude in the right direction. 🙂

Moving on can be difficult, but you have to give it your best shot and use discipline as well as emotional processing to be successful. For instance, balance keeping busy and dating other people with understanding that you only dated for four months and that’s the amount of time people use to decide if they want to continue dating each other or not, and his wanting to move on during that time period is very normal. When you date someone you should always understand that just because you’re crazy about them doesn’t mean they feel the same way, and you have to adjust your expectations accordingly. This is all a learning experience and you can use it to date smart, this next time around. But do move on. It’s been a year since the break up after a four month dating relationship. It’s time. 😉

[Sally]

A year is a long time to carry someone who isn’t walking beside you anymore. It doesn’t mean you’re weak it just means what you had mattered to you in a real way.
But here’s the quiet truth: when someone leaves that quickly and doesn’t try to come back, you don’t get closure from them. You have to build your own. And that usually starts with letting go of the little threads you’re still holding the gifts, the what-ifs, the idea that you owe him something. You don’t. Those gifts were given because he wanted to give them at the time.

You don’t need to return them or buy new ones. That’s just you trying to balance a scale that isn’t meant to be balanced anymore.
And as for moving on… it’s slower than anyone tells you. It’s not a switch. It’s waking up one day and realizing you didn’t think about him first thing in the morning. You get there by living your own life again, not by trying to fix the past.

Time wasn’t the only issue. If it were, he would’ve tried again. Let that be enough for you to loosen your grip a little.
You don’t have to stop loving him overnight. Just start loving yourself a little more than the memory of what you had.

[Tara]

You’re not “in love.” You’re addicted. You’re clinging to the ghost of a four-month relationship like it was a decade-long epic, and the only reason you can’t move on is that you’ve turned this breakup into your entire emotional identity. He ended things a year ago. Not last week. Not last month. A year. And you’re still sitting here acting like he’s the missing puzzle piece of your life instead of a guy who made a decision and walked away without looking back. He’s not confused. He’s not secretly hoping. He’s not coming back. You’re the only one still living in the reruns.

You’re not sad because he was “the one.” You’re sad because he was the last person to choose you, and you haven’t chosen yourself once since. That’s the real problem. You’ve been holding on to this breakup so tightly that you’ve trapped yourself in emotional quicksand. And the gifts? Stop using them as an excuse to keep a connection. You don’t owe him anything. He gave them willingly, and you keeping them doesn’t make you morally indebted. Buying him new gifts or returning old ones would just be another desperate attempt to reopen a door he closed on you a long time ago.

And his line “everything was right except time” that’s breakup code for “I’m trying to be polite while I walk away.” You don’t need to say anything to that because there’s nothing left to discuss. You move on by doing the one thing you’ve avoided for an entire year: accepting reality instead of romanticizing it. Cut the emotional umbilical cord, stop revisiting his memory like it’s sacred, and finally put your energy back into your own life. Dwelling keeps you stuck. Detachment frees you. Make the damn choice.

[Member]

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