Had an affair on and off the last 3 yrs (no sex in years w husband). Broke up w the man I had an affair w the last time because he refused to pick up the phone when my dad hit me since he didn’t want his friend/family to know we were back together (they don’t like me because I had a public breakdown a few yrs ago when I found out he was lying/cheating). He came back in my life and he said that he wanted to make me a priority and shouldn’t be embarrassed by me. Were doing great, but when he came up for the only 2 weeks I would see him over the next few months, he saw me 3x in 10 days and napped mostly the last 2 times but he partied w his friends 4x. I got pretty upset when I asked him to hang out early in the day and he chose to go to the pool w a friend instead. He said I was stressing him, started a fight when he could have seen me the next day, and I was a jealous, toxic person who wanted him to cut off his friends and family. I personally didn’t ever feel jealous but don’t feel like spending time w me mattered unless it was convenient. I said I give up on him trying to make his actions reflect his words, then told him I didn’t mean it, but he ignored my calls and when I knocked on door. I begged for him back and said I was sorry for getting upset, but he stopped talking completely (which has happened several times in the past). I keep blaming myself that I should have just hung out w him the next day and not have started a fight. I also found out he had a few online dating apps while w me but not sure if active. I feel awful and have lower self-esteem than ever
