[Isabellejean]

In the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend and I had a little conflict and trust issues developed, nothing has happened since but he has bad trust issues and finds it so hard to trust me but he trys really hard. My boyfriend means everything to me he has became my best friend and so much more, I reassure him of everything and he still has some trust issues. Coming up in about 6,7 months I am going on a grad trip to Cuba, my boyfriend is now talking about how we are breaking up before my trip as he cant trust me at all with 2000 other grad students in another country, I know I’m not going to hurt him but no matter what I say he still can’t do it. He says there’s a small chance of getting back together when I’m back but he doubts it as he will just be an ass to me and feel like I did something that I am not telling him. I won’t ever cheat on him, he is my life and I’m so in love with him he is my happiness and I can’t loose him, what do I do?! Please help I don’t know what to say now, what to say when the time comes, or how to continue.. I need him

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You know, he may be projecting. In other words, he may be the one who doesn’t want to be without a date while you’re in Cuba. And he may want the freedom to date other people while you’re away, so he’s blaming you for possibly cheating on him when he’s the one who’s contemplating cheating. 😕 Either way, he’s wanting a break up — because he thinks you’ll cheat or he wants to cheat. Both situations don’t seem to be ones he can manage, so I think you have to accept that this is who he is. If he is really worried about you cheating, then this issue is probably going to get worse with time. And if he’s the one who doesn’t want to be without the girlfriend so he can cheat while you’re away, he’s not ready for a commitment with you.

Your choice is to allow for the break up and see what’s between you when you return, or to allow for the break up and move on. Or…. you can play it out and see if he changes his mind.

[Zoha]

I love AskApril’s style because she’s straightforward and honest without being condescending. Her analysis is absolutely spot on that when someone is overly suspicious of you, they may be projecting their own weaknesses onto you. The truth is, relationships are built on trust, not threats. In such a situation, it’s best to face the truth.
Ask April’s expert advice is spot on: either accept the breakup and see what happens when you get back, or move on because the guy doesn’t seem ready for commitment.
I think if he wants to end the relationship because you are going to Cuba, go with passion. When you’re in Cuba with beautiful scenery and friends, you’ll realize that crying over a skeptical and insecure person was a waste of time. Level up, baby! There’s no need to beat up a guy who doubts your loyalty.

[Member]

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