[Anonymous]

Well im back here because you give great advice. Well heres a quick background of my relationship or was my relationship. im 24 and my gf is 19 we were dating for a year but the last 4 months have been bumpy for her which aswell brought it into the relationship. Well my ex gf was going through a stage of confusion and depression of where her life was heading because pf her parents splitting up her mom left alot of responsibilty to her while she would go out of town turn out the mom had an affair and really took my gf vision of the family now there has been constant fights and she tries to find an escape. now our problem was that it was affecting us because she was now unsure if she was ready to still give me or be able to do the gf title because shr wanted to have a clear mind. I was very supportive but she would go out with her friends to movies and distract her self. i found nothing wrongnbut i was getting very little time with herade me feel a bit useless i mean she says she loves me and i would have thought she would lean towards more to me
and seek comfort but i guess not. recently she went to a themepark with her neighbors nephew an his family along with her sister and friend. She never told me i found out through pictures she tried hiding it from me but it made me upset the fact she spent a day with another guys family. I asked if she had any sor of feeling for this guy she said no none. and she said she was sorry and knew it was wrong. well that same day i called her and talk to her she said she loved me and wants to be with me. but at the moment she is really confused of everythingnin her life about her parents and what not but she is not confused of the love for me. so i told her if shes not willing to give me the right attention that i deserve and the respect then i couldnt move any forward anymore. she said she wants too but its really bad timing because all she wants todo is just break down and cry which was all she was doing on the phone that she wants to take time to clear her mind and come back and repair all the damage that has been done. And that she wasnt taking this time to see anyone but this time was to better her self and try to gain some sort of control. So we ended up just giving time i yold her i couldnt be a friend because i didnt want to develope hope an only make it hurt more. Now my qustion i really do love her unconditionally and its so hard just to block or try to move on i mean i just cant i love her to much but i am trying. i’m in a confuse state what can i do to get her back its a real
hard decision for me to make. i need help should i move on or wait but i dont want to be a fool who waits for an empty relationship and i dont want to be a cushion for her emotuon i wanto be taken serious for a serious mature relationship.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Your girlfriend is going through a family trauma. Nineteen is not too old to be traumatized by her parents’ divorce, and she’s being clear with you that this is rocking her world in a bad way. I think that if she didn’t go out with her neighbor and his family you wouldn’t feel betrayed or jealous. But frankly, it doesn’t sound like it was a date and it’s understandable she’s trying to get out of her depression and going to a theme part with a family next door might have been something that was healthy for her to do. If that makes sense to you, then I’d suggest trying to be more empathetic and affectionate towards her. Send her little cards and gifts to let her know you care and are sensitive to what she’s going through rather than making the emphasis be on her not giving you enough attention.

Hopefully, she’ll get over her hurt at her parents’ split and will realize what she has in you and that her life doesn’t have to be her parents’ life. So for now, practice a little hard core empathizing and TLC for her broken heart and see if you can’t nourish your relationship with her that way.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook! I’d love to have you there at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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