[snhb88]

Me & my bf are in a relationship for 2 years. We are in the relationship from Nov 2013. We wanted a livelong relationship. We had same mind set, same likings,etc. We were very much happy together. But our life totally changed from September 2015. Firstly, his trust was broken when I told him about my 1st (ex)bf on 31st July, 2015. Though I had told him about my 2nd (ex) bf before only. Secondly, on 14th September, 2015 he was seeing my whatsapp msgs. He saw the conversation between me & my 1st bf. He was very much angry by seeing this as in the conversation there were many proposals to me from my past & I did not tell my past about my relationship. My present boyfriend was very much upset. His trust from me has completely broken. From then onwards we had quarrel on each alternate day. His behaviour was rude to me. Everything changed in our relationship. He has become a different person. Now our mind set does nt match. Our relation has become worse. What should I do to make our relationship as before?? How could I regain his trust??? How could I get back my present boyfriend as he was before??? Please advice me I need the advice very much.

[snhb88]

Please help me. Please reply me as soon as you she my msg because I m in a very depressed condition. Please help me out. Thank You.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s very difficult to regain trust, but the best you can do is to apologize and try to live impeccably. Be very careful to make sure you’re telling the truth and being honest with him at all times. You may not realize many times when you’re telling little white lies, so try and catch yourself. He’s probably wondering what else you didn’t tell him about, and if there is anything else you’ve withheld, you might want to confess now so that everything you’ve been withholding is out on the table. 😉

It’s also a good idea to break contact with your exes. There’s no reason to be in touch with them — especially when you know it upsets your current boyfriend. Let your current boyfriend know that you’ve realized this hurt him, and you’re very sorry and that you’ve taken steps to cut contact with your exes because you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship with him.

Lastly, ask yourself why you didn’t tell him about your exes sooner…. most people, in the course of dating for two years, will discuss exes. Was there some reason you didn’t want him to know about your exes?

[snhb88]

Thank You vry much April. Thanx for your valuable advice. I wl follow all your advice. I have already cut all my contact with my exes. I could tell him about my past because l was in fear of losing my present boyfriend. Another reason is that I dont want my exes bad curse or bad eyes on my relationship. I was in a feel of insecurity.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Insecurity is a very tough place to live! 😳 When you’re insecure you do things that aren’t in anyone’s best interest — you simply try to stave off worst case scenarios, even when it means lying…. which ironically, causes those worst case scenarios to eventually come true. If you’re fearful of losing a relationship because of your past, then be more honest with yourself, and everyone else, about that past. That way people can know the true you and decide whether or not to be with you right off the bat — instead of after you’ve both invested in the relationship and the truth comes out in a way that makes you look like you were hiding things. 😕

Also, you shouldn’t have relationships with exes that will jeopardize your current relationships. It just isn’t in your best interest to do so. If you’re afraid of being cursed or what your exes will think… then don’t date. But if you want to date, you have to do so as a completely single woman who isn’t encumbered by fear of curses or other entanglements with exes.

I hope that helps!

[snhb88]

Thank You vry much April. Thanx for your valuable advice. I will follow all your advices. I have already broken all my contact with my exes. I could not tell him about my past because l was in a fear of losing my present boyfriend. Another reason is that I did not want my exes bad curse or bad eyes to fall on my present relationship & hamper my this valuable relationship. I was in a feel of insecurity.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck. If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask! 😀

[snhb88]

My bf quarrels with me every alternative day. He cannot trust me again. For the last two days he is very much unmindful whatever I am saying him, he is not listenning to me & thinking about something else. What can I do please suggest me??? How can I get back his trust on me???? Please advice me soon plzzzzzz.
Thank You.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

As I said before:

* Break contact with your exes for good.

* Apologize for not being truthful before.

* Be impeccable with your life and be super honest.

And what I can add today:

* Don’t fight with him. It takes two people to fight. Don’t engage. Tell him he’s right. Tell him you’re sorry.

* [b]Be patient.[/b] The ball is in his court now. You’re the one who wasn’t honest, so he has to decide if he wants to stay with you or not. If he can’t trust you, then the relationship won’t work in the long run, and hopefully, you’ll have learned an important lesson. If he is able to forgive you, then you’ll have an opportunity for both you, your boyfriend, as well as the relationship, to grow.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[snhb88]

Thank You April. Thanx a lot for your valuable advice. I have already broken all my contact with my exes & I have also deleted their contact number. I cannot afford to loose my present boyfriend at any cost. I want to have a longterm relationship with him. I will follow all your advices correctly. Thank You.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m wishing you good luck — and the wisdom to recognize what happened, and to learn from it. Relationships take two people to make them work; one to end them. Stay patient, kind, enticing and creative, and understand that the ball is in his court. Also, know that whether he stays with you or not — you will be okay — this problem has a lot to do with your learning to be honest and understanding that who you are is enough — although it may not be enough for everyone. You weren’t honest because you thought that who you were wasn’t going to keep him if you were. And sometimes, that’s true — but you didn’t give him that opportunity, and now the problem is compounded because you withheld the truth. It’s always better to know up front, before investing months and years in any relationship, if you’re compatible or not. When you’re not honest, you withhold that opportunity from him and yourself. This has everything to do with your self esteem — that’s where honesty lives! If he decides not to continue the relationship because of what happened, you will be hurt, but you will be okay, and you will have survived a failed relationship, and you will have shed your exes from your past, so you can move ahead and be with someone else, evolved. If he does come back to you, then you’ll have an opportunity to express gratitude for what you’ve learned and the ways you’ve changed. I know you think this is about him — but it’s really about you. 😉

[snhb88]

I had a family outing on my birthday 28th Jan 2015 so l told my bf about it. He said ok. But the plan was cancelled as everyone’s time did not match. My mother told not go to college as she wanted me to stay at home and celebrate the day with her and dad. I told about all this to my bf on my bday. My bf got angry & decided not to spend any of his birthday in the whole lifetime with me as I did not spend my bday with him. This year also a problem occured l went out of station for a week with my family. I was very much tired & was feeling sleepy after a whole day’s trip as l could not sleep properly at night due to the trip & journey, l slept only for 3 hours the whole day. So l feel asleep & l could not receive my bf’ s call. He got extremely angry as he was calling me for wishing me on my birthday. Now, he is fully determined that he will never celebrate his bday with me & will not stay with me on my birthday. He will give me this punishment for the whole lifetime. What should I do??? I am feeling very much sad for what he said. I am sorry for what l did.. but should l get this punishment for my deed….?????

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The more you tell me about him and your relationship together, it sounds like he is very demanding and not very mature. When he said he will never spend one of his birthdays with you, ever, he’s simply being reactive to being hurt. But he’s not being very understanding of your relationship with your family or your level of energy! You could easily spend your birthday with him on a different day — which is part of what people in relationships with families do. Imagine if the two of you were married and Thanksgiving or Christmas became an issue because his family wanted your attention and so did yours. Being able to compromise and make deals in a relationship is integral to it’s success. He may not be your Mr. Right if he can’t see beyond his own needs. 😉

[snhb88]

I agree to your view but he is much more matured than me & not at all demanding. But he is extremely short tempered, aggressive & a little bit sentimental. I told him to celebrate my birthday on a different day with him but he totally denies it & says he will never spend his birthday with me as he wants me to get the same pain as he had got. On account of last year’s bday he celebrated my bday on a different day but this year he denied it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Good luck to you. Let me know if you have any other questions. I’m happy to help if you want my advice. 🙂

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