[merahvasquez]

My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over 2 years. We were both just under 17 when we started dating, and now we’re both 19. The last year of our relationship has been very stressful. The first year of our relationship, I knew 100% that he loved me more than anything. I knew he would do anything for me and I was his main priority. Unfortunately, life was really against us. Not only did we both begin college this year (at the same school) but his parents divorced at the same time as school began. The stress was too much for him. He became very depressed and I was no longer a priority. I understood this and knew that he was just going through a tough time and I tried my best to be supportive, but the sharp change in our relationship was so difficult for me. He has slowly gotten “better” in our relationship over the last few months.. But I just don’t feel that the same love he had for me before is still there. I am still not his main priority and sometimes I feel like a burden. He still says he loves me and that he wants to be with me, but I just can’t get myself to believe him. This is so hard because before all of this we were discussing marriage and now he wants to put it off for years. What do you think about our situation? I love him so much and I want to be with him forever, but only if he truly does love me, too.

[AskApril Masini]

I’m sorry you’re hurt. I understand. The reality is that life changes all the time — divorces, job issues, college, illness, accidents, promotions — in different cities — and relationships either go the distance or end based on what each person wants for him or herself and for the partnership. At age 19, it’s very normal for him not to want to marry now or in the near future, and it’s also normal for him (or you) to want to test the waters and play the field at college. Because he knows how much you care and want the relationship to go the distance he may feel it’s best for both of you to end things so you’re not disappointed over the long run. I know this doesn’t make you feel very good, but if you understand that the two of you are just not in the same place at the same time, you may be able to accept the strain and possible relationship winding down.

[Member]

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