[surobhan]

I’ve had a crush on my sister’s best friend for about 10 years. When my sister got married I ended up in bed with her best friend.
I had put up a wall because I’m always the one that gets hurt and she tore it down. She was the first to say ‘I really like you’ she was the first to say she had never slept better with anyone else, she was the first to say that she likes being around me, she used to call and text me first all day every day and she was the first to say ‘i’m in love with you’. Today it’s been almost a week since I’ve seen her, she doesn’t seem to mind that we haven’t met in the past days. She never calls or text first anymore. And when I called her yesterday, she hung up. Today I haven’t heard from her at all. It’s like she has stopped thinking about me. She made me fall so hard for her. And now I feel she was playing me this whole time. Okay it’s only 2 months but then for sure I dont understand how you can say you’re in love with me and then end it after just 2 months. I’m pretty sure she’s gonna tell me we have to stop next time I see her. And I think I won’t be able to deal with that. It’s almost as if she wanted me to fall in love with her just to break up with me as soon as I did. I feel betrayed, lost and I don’t know what to do. I want to yell at her but that might make her run away faster then she already is. I wanna go to her and tell her I’ll do anything for her but that might scare her of give her a claustrofobic feeling. I can’t simply let this girl go away, not now, now that I finally have her. Please help

[AskApril Masini]

People change their minds. It happens all the time. They date someone and then lose interest. They learn about someone and decide they’re not a great match. This is normal — this is dating! You should always use the first three months of dating someone to simply get to know them and decide if you want to continue dating them — and understand that they’re doing the same. But you have to understand that just like you may find that you’re not interested, so, too, may she — and it sounds like she has. However, you don’t have to be a victim. 😉 If you really want her, why not try to win her over. Send her flowers, gifts and take her out on romantic dates. It sounds like you didn’t do a lot of work to date her…. and now you have the opportunity to do so! 🙂 If she’s lost interest, give her something to be interested in. 😎 I hope that helps. Let me know if you have any other questions.

[Sally]

What makes this so painful isn’t just that she’s pulling away. It’s that she led the pace. She said the big things first. She pulled you close, got you to feel safe, and now she’s gone quiet. Anyone would feel blindsided by that.
Here’s the hard part, said gently. When someone can flip like this, it usually means they liked the feeling, not the weight of it. The closeness felt good until it started to feel real. That doesn’t mean she planned to hurt you. But it does mean she isn’t handling this with care.
Don’t chase her. Don’t yell. Don’t beg. I know that urge. It only gives her more space to disappear.
If she comes back, let her explain. If she doesn’t, believe what her silence is already telling you.
You didn’t imagine this. And you’re not weak for falling.

[Tara]

You didn’t “finally have her.” You were a temporary emotional amusement, and the moment she got what she wanted, validation, excitement, power, she checked out. People who are in love don’t vanish, don’t hang up, don’t go silent, and don’t suddenly stop caring if they see you. That behavior isn’t confusion or fear; it’s disinterest. You weren’t misled by mixed signals you were seduced by words and ignored actions like an amateur. She said big things fast because saying them felt good, not because she meant them. You swallowed it because you were starving for connection and ignored every warning sign because hope felt better than reality.

Yelling at her would make you look unstable, begging would make you pathetic, and “doing anything for her” would destroy what little dignity you have left. You’re not in love, you’re addicted to the emotional high of being chosen, and now panicking because you’re being discarded. That’s not romance; that’s dependency. The fact that you’re already planning how to contort yourself to keep her proves you’ve handed her all the power, and she knows it. Women don’t respect men who collapse the second attention is withdrawn. They leave them.

[Member]

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