[Anonymous]

Hello,

I am in a complex relationship and I would like to receive some advice as it is really straining me out..

Its nearly 8 months since i know this guy. We are on very good terms when together and i like being with him a lot.. He even said he loved me. There are two things however, that are really hampering our relationship..

[b]1st issue:[/b] He’s twice my age and doesn’t want to enter in a relationship with me (dating as girlfriend and boyfriend/ marriage,..) He believes it would spoil my future and says he doesn’t want to enter in a relation where he’s not at ease. He wants us to remain as ‘special friends’ (to meet from time to time, have intimate talks,etc..) I am growing uneasy with this kind of relationship as I would like to be in a committed relationship, have him recognize me as his girlfriend in front of his and my social circle or society.

[b]2nd issue: [/b]He says he loves me but doesn’t find time to meet, text or call me..Often its more than a week before he contacts me. It is always me who has to make the first move towards him to contact him. I am having doubts on whether he really cares or not. He always spends a lot of time in work and work is always an excuse for him for not spending time with me.

In short, its like heaven when we spend a short time together, but it feels like he’s a dream i had when he goes away from me for days and days.

I am tired of this situation and want to go away from him, even if i love him.
When i try to talk to him, he grows defensive and i no more know how to explain myself. He turns my arguments upside down.. I feel I’m getting more hurt than happiness from this relationship.

Grateful if I could get some piece of advice..

[Ask April Masini]

You need to stick up for yourself because if you don’t, you’ll pay the price in the long run. You’re actually very clear about what you want, and you’re very clear that he’s not giving you what you want. What’s keeping you in the game is how good it feels for those few minutes when things are going well. The problem is that in a mature relationship that lasts long term, you have to be compatible and have similar goals — in addition to all that good stuff like attraction and fun when you’re together. He doesn’t have the same goals that you do, and this makes him Mr. Wrong.

You should read Think & Date Like A Man, a book that I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right. I’m not just trying to sell books here — this will really help you. Here’s the link for the book: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. You can also get it on the websites for Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Read it and let me know what you think and how you’re doing.

I hope that helps.

See you on Facebook at this link: [url][/url] and on Twitter @AskAprilcom. 😀

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