[JANE0117]

So, I have been dating a guy I love for the past nine months and recently have been arguing over our relationship. However, we’ve always managed to stick together because we love each other. We had another argument and we said we would talk about our relationship to get things sorted out. He mentioned how he couldn’t marry me because I was not of the same culture as him, not on his decision but his parents. I have met his siblings and parents before and got along just fine. But he told me that he asked his mother about me, and she said she would rather that he was with someone of the same culture. This wasn’t the first time this happened to him, because his ex was not of the same culture, but his parents loved her, but they ended up splitting up for another reason. Despite the parents liking his ex, they would ask him why he would keep bringing her home. He also mentioned how his sibling married someone from their culture, but ended up divorcing her because the brother of the bride was suspicious of my boyfriend’s brother because they were managing a long distance marriage until she could come here. Also, his other sibling had a child who is a mixed child, but my bf told me he was only allowed to stay with her but not marry her–in the end that brother broke up with her for other reasons, but still remains a good father to the child. Anyways, back to the point…me and my bf have had a break up before but always came back together the next day because we couldnt handle being apart, but since this problem is bigger than any other problem we couldnt handle, im not so sure what to do.We want to stay together….but we shouldnt hurt each other if it’s not going to work out in the end anyway…he said he doesnt want to waste my time. I was thinking maybe i could talk to his parents so i could understand what they wish for their son, and see if there was anything i could do to change their mind, but not force them in anyway. i want to make sure i tried everything i could to keep us going…but if their parents stand their ground…then i might have to break up….we said we would stay friends….
I am not sure what to do……and sorry if this is really long…any suggestions?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t talk to his parents! 😯 This is none of their business. It’s between you and your boyfriend. 😉 If he doesn’t want to marry you, and he’s an adult, who can do what he wants, the reason he’s giving you is less important than the fact that he doesn’t want to marry you. 😉 I know you want to marry him, but if he’s not onboard, don’t waste your time, and move on. There are many men who marry women from different cultures, socioeconomic groups, religions, etc. This isn’t about his parents. It’s about him. Rather than pass judgment on his reasoning, accept it, and find someone who’s more compatible. 😉 Marriage between people of different backgrounds is great — if both people are on board. He isn’t.

If you do write back here, please let me know how old you both are. 😉

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[JANE0117]

I’m 22 and he is 24. I told him one day I wanted to get married to the person who is right for me in the future. I’m dating for a purpose in the end which is marriage

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s good that you know what you want, and now, your job is to make sure to find someone who is compatible. People have deal breakers, and sometimes they have to do with being a different religion, race, or even from a different socioeconomic group. Rather than pass judgment, or try to talk them (or their parents and families) into something they’re not inclined to do, find out as early on as you can what his deal breakers are. 😉 It’s a great way to date efficiently, and successfully — especially when you’re lucky enough to know what it is you want from a partner, which in your case, is marriage.

Hope that helps!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[Member]

Posts