So I met someone a few months ago and I’ve been having doubts whether I should continue our relationship or not. We started off by talking on a dating site, that progressed to talking on the phone and then we decided to actually meet up. We’ve gone out a few times now and we’ve met each others parents. We’re always laughing when we’re together and I just really enjoy her company, so I would hate to have to let her go. She’s opened up to me about a lot of personal things and I feel like we’ve become closer since opening up about our troubled childhood’s.
Now my issue is that she’s not ready for a serious relationship, she’s told me as much, and yet I have this idea in my head that I could eventually win over her heart if I give her the time she needs. She’s told me from the get-go, before we even met, that she’s only interested in beings friends because she thinks that a relationship will be stronger if it starts off at that level, understandable right? How can you start a closer relationship with someone if they can’t even be your friend first?
On the second date I thought I would give her a kiss her on the cheek to test the waters, I mean usually a gal gives ya the cheek if she’s not into ya, so it’s a cowards way to getting a kiss. But she told me later that night she wasn’t even ready for that. Last night we had the relationship talk and she told me that she was fine if I reactivated my dating profile and started seeing other people, I was stunned, she even asked if I wanted to end our relationship because she wasn’t ready for anything more serious.
I’m the closest thing she’s ever had to a boyfriend… perhaps even just a friend. So I feel like her hesitation to getting into a serious relationship with me isn’t really me… at least I hope not, but other psychological problems that she developed growing up. She’s never had any close friends growing up, she keeps people at arm’s reach because she’s afraid of giving out her trust. Her family has betrayed her trust before and that’s really hurt her in the past. She’s never been in any kind of romantic relationship before and she’s told me that it could take a very long time before she’s comfortable being in one. I think she was giving me a way out yesterday because she knows that she can’t give me the kind of relationship that I want.
So I’m really conflicted as to what to do. I once called my cousin an idiot for staying with a girl that was only interested in being friends with him, yet five months later she decided that she was ready to start something closer, and now they’re happily a couple. I really enjoy this girl’s company and I’d like to start a more serious relationship with her. I feel like if I stay with her as a friend it may someday progress beyond that, which may or may not happen.
Should I give our relationship more time?
