[Confusedmm2006]

Met a guy through a friend, at first he would just visit, kind of daily actually. He never showed any interest romantically for a while and i wondered what his deal was so i asked a friend to casually ask him what was happening between us, his response was he was getting to know met. puzzled by this response, i then decided to start flirting with him. About two months later our relationship started and i was being introduced as his girlfriend. Now, about three months into the relationship, i feel like he’s not totally into me. He has a business that consumes him, mentally, entirely and pays attention to me when he has no other commitments. Its confusing cause he does nothing wrong, but his communication and the way he treats me is seeming quite casual, he does the routine stuff but hardly goes out of his way to make an effort. i swallowed my pride and spoke to him about it and I’m noticing that he’s not quite getting it from my point of view. i’ve tried to kind of live my own life, but then he responds by calling and texting, appearing to be confused by my disappearance. I know i might be wrong so i need a little help, i also don’t want to loose out on a good guy for a silly reason when there might be an explanation or solution to the problem. I’m also a realist so i don’t want to hang around till he finds what it is he’s looking for, he kind of tries to make up for it by calling more or trying to say things he thinks i want to hear, nothing sincere in my books. Should i stick around or call it a day?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

In your pre-posting questionnaire, you wrote that you’re 28 and he’s 27 and you’re in a committed relationship of three months with this guy. The problem is that three months isn’t enough time to have a commitment, and I think you’re trying to impose one on the relationship, while he’s just playing the field. My advice is to hang back. Don’t have “the talk” about the relationship any more. Guys hate this talk, and it makes them feel pressured. Instead, understand a typical timeline: Use the first three months of dating to decide if you want to continue seeing the person. Assume he’s doing the same. Use the second three months of dating to decide if you want to be monogamous or not. Assume he’s doing the same. If he loses interest, dial up your girlfriend game. Be the girlfriend who gets the guy because she’s the prize he wants. His loss of interest is a signal that either you’re not bringing your A game or he’s just not that interested. If he’s not that interested, it may be because his work and the rest of his life is time consuming and this is his normal, even though it’s not yours. Or, he’s just not that into you. But if you don’t bring your A game, you won’t know. I hope that helps. 🙂

[Sundus]

If he only fits you into his schedule, he is considering you as a convenience, not a partner. It is better to move in than to convince someone to value you.
You mentioned that he doesn’t feel any sincerity in his words. That’s a massive red flag.

[Cassian Rowe]

The reason is that there is a gap between sincerity and consistency. He is busy with his business and notices his attention is casual and minimal efforts, and most attempts are inactive. He calls when you disappear or says things he thinks you want to hear. You already communicated your feelings, and if he still does not truly understand and his efforts are only reactive, then this pattern won’t change.
From my perspective, you should prioritize your feelings, emotions, and self-respect. A good partner is not just someone’s presence; it’s about consistency, effort, and sincerity.
Ask yourself, can this relationship be truly satisfying long-term, or is it just a temporary attention?

[Member]

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