[Max]

Conventional wisdom might suggest that expressions of intimacy are an indicator of a burgeoning relationship. However, sometimes the more intimate I become with a woman (over the course of the first few dates), the more reticence I encounter on subsequent dates when intimating or initiate intimacy.
Based upon some feedback, the ladies might sense a predictable ending to dates, or feel that the date was just a perfunctory prequel to intimacy, or seem to be wanting something “more” on dates (whether that is more face time, more fun, or more of a connection, I don’t know), or that I just want to “hookup”.
Given that I am in fact looking for something serious, I’m sure you can see how it might worry me that I give off this impression.
Considering the above, I am hoping you can offer some suggestions, and perhaps let me know if I am on the right track with the following thoughts.
• Is the problem simply that the dates we are on are too short in time and are seen only as a prequel? Therefore prolong the dates. Potentially go to multiple venues?
• For later dates (i.e. after the initiation of intimacy), should I plan something more romantic/elaborate? As opposed to dinner or drinks in order to try and change the tenor of the relationship?
• Should I throw in a date where we don’t hookup every once in a while? In other words, does every date have to end with some kind of intimacy in order to stoke a flowering romance?
• Should the focus of conversation change from getting to know them in a general sense to a more in depth and personal connection?

Thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like what you’re trying to say is that you’re striking out with the ladies. 😉 No worries. You’re not alone. Dating is a process and it requires skill. Your questions are very academic and this forum is geared for specific situations. So, if you want to ask me about a particular relationship and not just how to date, in general, I’m more than happy to answer that! If you want to buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, that might help you and you can read it at your leisure. Here’s the link to purchase. [url]https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974676306/qid=1075191419/sr=1-1[/url]. I hope that helps!

[Sundus]

Your problem is not that you are “hooking up”; the problem is that you have become predictable. If every date ends in the same pattern, the girl starts feeling bored. Romance should have suspense.

[Member]

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