"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."
"April Masini answers questions no one else can
and tells you the truth that no one else will."

A Paradox – More Intimacy, More Difficulty

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  • #7926
    Max
    Member #374,448

    Conventional wisdom might suggest that expressions of intimacy are an indicator of a burgeoning relationship. However, sometimes the more intimate I become with a woman (over the course of the first few dates), the more reticence I encounter on subsequent dates when intimating or initiate intimacy.
    Based upon some feedback, the ladies might sense a predictable ending to dates, or feel that the date was just a perfunctory prequel to intimacy, or seem to be wanting something “more” on dates (whether that is more face time, more fun, or more of a connection, I don’t know), or that I just want to “hookup”.
    Given that I am in fact looking for something serious, I’m sure you can see how it might worry me that I give off this impression.
    Considering the above, I am hoping you can offer some suggestions, and perhaps let me know if I am on the right track with the following thoughts.
    • Is the problem simply that the dates we are on are too short in time and are seen only as a prequel? Therefore prolong the dates. Potentially go to multiple venues?
    • For later dates (i.e. after the initiation of intimacy), should I plan something more romantic/elaborate? As opposed to dinner or drinks in order to try and change the tenor of the relationship?
    • Should I throw in a date where we don’t hookup every once in a while? In other words, does every date have to end with some kind of intimacy in order to stoke a flowering romance?
    • Should the focus of conversation change from getting to know them in a general sense to a more in depth and personal connection?

    Thanks!

    #35006
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    It sounds like what you’re trying to say is that you’re striking out with the ladies. 😉 No worries. You’re not alone. Dating is a process and it requires skill. Your questions are very academic and this forum is geared for specific situations. So, if you want to ask me about a particular relationship and not just how to date, in general, I’m more than happy to answer that! If you want to buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, that might help you and you can read it at your leisure. Here’s the link to purchase. [url]https://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0974676306/qid=1075191419/sr=1-1[/url]. I hope that helps!

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