[easterbunny]

Dear April,

I have purchased and read your book and after that I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, who was happily co-habitating with me but would shy away from marriage.
I figured I was allowing him to use me giving free imlk, and asked him to move out, explaining the reason. He tried to drag time, pretending he can’t find any other place, but finally moved out ( so obviously he was not that much into me to propose ).

we are still in touch, had an occasional booty call, but i have been dating around and currently seeing 2 guys, one of which I like more and more.

Should i tell him that the reason for demise of previous relationship was his non-compliance with my marriage timeline ? or should i avoid telling the truth ( there basically was a marriage ultimatum from me ) and say something else ? so far, when he asked how come i was single i told him something vague, but maybe i should let him know the truth, so he understand my expectations ?
or will it freak him out and kill the mood if he’ll learn that the clock is ticking and i expect proposal by certain date ?
i haven’t found any advice on that so far

[April Masini, your AskApril]

No, no, no — don’t tell him you broke up with your ex-boyfriend because he “didn’t comply with your marriage timeline”. 😮 That will send this guy running. It makes you sound like a legal machine that enforces compliances — instead of a vixen who attracts men while deciding who she feels will be her Mr. Right. 😉 And you’re right — a ticking clock is about as unromantic as you can get! (Although I don’t know how old you are, I’m guessing mid-30s). What you can tell him is that your ex-boyfriend and you were incompatible. He wasn’t really into the same kind of intimacy and commitment you were willing to give a man. At the same time, it’s YOUR job to find out if he’s serious about you (re-read the parts of the book that will help you with this). If you assess the man correctly (your job!) then you won’t have to give him an ultimatum. You’ll have chosen wisely and in a year, he’ll propose to you. So date smart! 😀 Don’t waste time (drop the booty calls with your ex immediately!) if you feel a clock ticking, and make sure he’s someone who’s interested in the same things you are.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[easterbunny]

Thanks a lot for your reply, April !
I have already dropped booty calls with ex before writing to you, realized that it was self-sabotage in a way.
I am 30 years old and feel the clock ticking, so trying to date wisely now.

I was not going to tell new man/men about “compliance in exact those same words”, I would say something along the lines of “we were not on the same page” , and explain that the page was “marriage” if he asks more about it.
What you wrote is very similar in nature.
“he was not into the same kind of intimacy and commitment” is fairly transparent too and if he questions further, i will have to say the “commitment” was “marriage” or he can work it out himself easily .
So, is your advice to tell, but word it carefully ?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t YOU bring it up, but if he asks you — and presses for an answer, you can tell him then. 😉

[Member]

Posts