[Anonymous]

So I’d gone out with a girl 3 times. Coffee/walking date ending with a hug, diner date ending with a polite kiss, I made her dinner at my place and then a movie ending with lots of making out.

4th date she had the reigns. We went to one of her favorite restraunts and she insited on paying. Couple of awkward silences but all the signals were that it was just healthy tension. Then she took me to a “make-out” spot where we did just that for an hour or so. Holding hands a fair amount and generally have an amazing time. Went back to her place and talked and had tea then continued the passionate kissing with some petting. I was pushing forward but not all that concerned about sex, even though I would have welcomed it. I was getting very mixed signals which I interpreted as excellent since it seemed that she was struggling internally. I backed off because of clear “no farther” signals even though she was being as agressive as I was in every other way. So anywyay, we started to fall asleep together. After a few more brief exchanges and body kisses I got up turned out the light and laid back down. She asked if I’d changed my mind about leaving (id mentioned it was getting late) and I said “technically no, but I don’t want to assume I can stay” she said she was asking me to. So I stripped down to underwear, she got into PJs and we slept intimately for a few hours before I had to go to work.

I’m pretty good at reading body language. reacting correctly isn’t always so easy. But, I’m totally confused. Ever indication is that this was a great night, and I did love it. but, its a completely new order of things for me so I’m second guessing and over thinking. were both old enough that virginity and games aren’t likely an issue, but does anyone have some insight? Talked to her 2 days later and we’re going out again but i have no idea how I should progress things.

[Anonymous]

thought I should add a couple details that might be pertinent:

we’re both well adjusted mature not-shy introverts
we’re both relatively professionally successful
we met on a dating site

in other words, other than looking for a relationship we both seem to have our crap together.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Relax. It’s going fine! 🙂

She likes you a lot, and even though you’ve been on four dates, you’re still getting to know each other, so expect some new and even awkward experiences as part of the journey. Loosen up a little and understand that the path isn’t going to be entirely smooth, but from what you’ve described, this relationship is going well and you should just look forward, and not overanalyze.

I hope that helps!

[Althea Mae]

It’s perfect that you respect her boundaries even you’re interested with her. you really have an emotional intelligence. just keep an open communication and enjoy getting to know each other. Don’t make things rush.

[Member]

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