[Anonymous]

So my girl and I have been talking for 4 months and she had gotten out of a 2 1/2 year relationship so we weren’t in one but even she said we acted like it. She lives in Jersey and I’m at Temple in Philly. She has came to visit me plenty of times and even late late night. Her birthday was this past wednesday and I was throwing her a party that Friday and was gonna take her to dinner that Sunday. I went out and got her a gift, some roses, and wrote her a card. She ends up telling me she’s not coming after telling me all day and all week how excited she was to get to see me and all kinds of stuff like that. I asked why and she said her one friend didn’t want to come so we wasn’t going to. Naturally I was mad and when talking to her on the phone I had an attitude but I told her I was sorry. She hung up on me multiple times and even told me to shutup in an aggressive tone. When I told her about what I got for her she was just inconsiderate and thought it was funny and said “You’re a drama queen, I told you not to get me anything.” Also, she told me to stop yelling at her, which I wasn’t, and I told her I was talking. I heard a friend of hers in the background tell her”tell him he’s talking loud then” and she goes “your talking loud to me”. I told her can we have this conversation between me and you and not with one of your friends and she responded “What are you talking about no one is here, shutup, your acting dumb.” It progressed and got to the point where she said I’m not her BF and stop controlling her and I said I’m not I’m mad you were bullshitting me all day. The convo ended bad and she ended up texting me something along the lines of to loose her number she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore since “i raised my voice and disrespected her the way I did”. I asked my brother for advice since he had been in this situation multiple times and he told me to just say okay and she responded okay have fun tonight peaceeee which my brother said showed she was trying to extend an argument and not to respond. She has not made any contact with me, either have I. She went as far as to block me and all my friends from facebook. I also feel like her bestfriend shes known since birth is in her ear because my bestfriend played her out and she does not like that Vanessa is with someone since she has no one herself. I just don’t know what to do. I like her alot and she has told me how happy I make her and that she likes me a lot. I feel like if she cares she’d talk to me but she is one of those cocky prideful girls. Her ex controlled her for 2 1/2 years so she is trying to be controlling me. Should I try to reach out to her because everyone I’ve talked to has said I did nothing wrong in this situation. She disrespected me and took it so far to end everything just like that because I had an attitude.

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you’ve never really dated — you’ve only had contact online or on the phone. You conducted a relationship for over four months like that, and when you were finally ready to meet, she stood you up. The bottom line is that she doesn’t want a “real life” relationship with you. 😳

The internet and technology are great tools, but they’re not substitutes for the real thing. Don’t waste any more time on a woman who’s told you to lose her phone number and has blocked you and your friends from Facebook. She’s sending you a message loud and clear, and it isn’t pleasant. Instead, look around you for a girlfriend. You’re on a huge campus with lots of women — find someone in real life you can ask out shortly after you meet her so there isn’t the pressure of so many months of building a relationship that doesn’t include meeting in person.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go — and join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

The only thing is I’ve been at school for a month and prior to that we were together most days throughout the summer and she has came to visit me and spent the night here multiple times. So that is why I am confused because we have been seeing each other and spent a lot of time together then she just flipped for no reason. So should I just let it go and see if she really wants me back or try to talk to her. Not meeting isn’t the problem because we went to the same high school and for the past months have been together a lot.

[Ask April Masini]

Thank you for clarifying. I didn’t realize you’d spent the summer together. Now I can see why you think she’s flip flopped in her feelings for you. The thing is that there is never “no reason” for her behavior. There is ALWAYS a reason, but you may not be privy to it. All you can go on, however, is that behavior. And given her behavior, I think it’s best for you to move on. Her most recent behavior isn’t that of a woman who appreciates you or wants to spend any time with you. I think you can find someone who wants you — this woman doesn’t.

I hope that helps Let me know how things go.

And join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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