[alex]

Hi April,

I have a (hopefully not too) complicated situation that maybe you could shed some light on. Two weekends ago I went out to some bars around town with my friend, his girlfriend, and his sister. I had never met his sister before and we all had a great time until him and his girlfriend got in a fight and stormed out lol. So it was just me and his sister hanging out with some of her friends and we all still had a good time. The following night I found out she was single, and she invited me out with her friends and had a great time again. At this point I could sense an attraction between us, but I had to leave early since I had to get up really early the next day. She was even begging me to stay later! 🙂

The following week we talked almost everyday online (her and I both we initiating the communication) and we setup a date on Sunday night to have dinner. On our date, I could genuinely tell she had a great time and we talked about some events that we could do together in the coming weeks. It couldn’t have gone much better and she said that the upcoming week (this week) would be really busy but we could maybe do something Friday night.

I txt’ed her pretty much every day during the week after this and she only responded to 1 of them, which I found a litle odd. Just today I called and left her a voicemail asking if she wanted to grab dinner and hit some bars Friday night and she responded back saying she would be busy all weekend.

At this point, I’m not quite sure if there’s a problem and shes not as interested now as before our date (maybe I’ve been txt’ing her too much). Or if I’m just being too dramatic and worrying about things that aren’t really there lol. So, my plan is to just leave her be until next week and then communicate with her again to see if she wants to hang out again. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything to her and wait for her to contact me… what do you think?

Thanks!
Alex

[Ask April Masini]

First of all, you’re right — you are texting her too much. So quit doing that. Women don’t always go for “nice guys” — in fact, I happen to believe nice guys finish last. I’m not suggesting you go out and kill small animals in order to get the girl 😆 but I do think you have to act a little bit more like you’re a catch and she’d be lucky to have a date with you. Temper that with your own style and a lovely date, and you’ll have a much better recipe for success.

Second of all, it’s entirely possible that she is legitimately busy for the weekend, so my advice is to give it another shot. Ask her out again next week, and if she shoots you down again, THEN, move on and accept that she’s not interested — but not yet. You haven’t struck out completely, but you’ve got two adjustments to make: Cool it on the texts, and do ask her out again next week.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go. And join me on Facebook! Here’s the link: [url][/url].

[alex]

Thanks for the advice!

On our first date we made plans to go on a riverboat cruise that I got free tickets to for this Thursday. So I’ll just plan to talk to her again at that time.

I’ll let you know how it goes 😉

Thanks,
Alex

[Ask April Masini]

What a great date!! It’s romantic and unique and fun!! It shows her that you care enough to come up with a really nice plan for her and that this is not some hanging out session — this is a full on date because you respect yourself enough to treat this woman like you want her to be yours and you’re showing her exactly that! Nice work, Alex. 😀 Let me know how it goes. And join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url].

[alex]

well she bailed on me..

I got a txt this morning saying she hurt her ankle and had to go to urgent care last night and couldn’t make it to our date. I guess I have no reason to think she’s lying, but what I’ve noticed is while I put an effort to talk to her and setup some fun things for us to do, she really doesn’t seem to do the same for me.

What confuses me most is the week leading up to our first date we talked alot (she contacted me as well), we had a great time on our date, and we both set up some fun things to do over the coming weeks. Then immediately after our first date she turned ice cold and rarely talked to me.

I guess it’s pretty much over and I should stop contacting her. If she contacts me, great… but I’m not counting on it. This Saturday she has a party she invited me to on our first date, so if she still wants me to come, I’ll let her contact me.

Time to start moving on I guess =/

[Ask April Masini]

Make sure you’re not jumping to conclusions before moving on. If she really hurt her ankle and is laid up in bed it would be a shame if you decided she was lying to get out of the date. 😳

If, however, you’re right and she wasn’t into you, AND that’s why she fibbed to get out of the date, then yes — move on and find someone who’s into you. You are a GREAT catch and someone will be lucky to find you!

Please join me on Facebook. Here’s the link to do so: [url][/url].

[alex]

So I talked to her Sunday night and she wants to just be friends. I was pretty sure that was going to be the end result of all this after the last 2 weeks when she hasn’t been to responsive to me. I doubt we can exist as friends since I’m still interested in her, but maybe give it some time and it could work.

I came to the conclusion that she doesn’t really know what she wants right now and has too many things going on her life right now. She broke up with her boyfriend in February and has been spending a lot of time meeting new people and hanging out with friends since then. She seems to know ALOT of people and is very outgoing, which I find admirable, but I don’t think she’s ready to settle down with any one guy yet.

Anyway, I just thought I’d give you the last piece of the story lol. Onto the next one I guess 🙂

[Ask April Masini]

Thank you for the update. It sounds like you have a good handle on this situation and I hope you’ll look at it as just a blip on the radar screen that is your dating life.

I agree with you that it’s not a great idea to be just friends after you’ve already shown your expressed interest in her as a date. Nice guys finish last, so don’t be too nice and accommodating on this one. If she wants you, she knows that your terms are to be her date — IF you’re still available if and when she comes around and realizes what a catch you are. So stick to your program and move on. My guess is she’s going to realize she made a mistake, but you shouldn’t dwell on that. You should look ahead and move forward.

I hope that helps — and that you’ll join me on Facebook. Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Author]

Posts