[ontap83]

So I went out with this girl a few weeks ago, we had a great time, she asked to get together again, we kissed at the end of night and made plans to get dinner on Monday (first date was on Wednesday, I was heading out of town the next day for the weekend)
Then Monday afternoon she texts and cancels because she is too tired, I say no worries and we make plans for Thursday for dinner and drinks. We go out Thursday have a great time, at the end of the night, kiss a little more and make plans to get together Sunday, Sunday afternoon she cancels and says she’ll call me. She never does. Two days later I text her saying what’s up, she texts back apoligizing for blowing me off, but she’s been swamped with work, she then asks me out to dinner for the next night, I say sounds great. The next night and she cancels 30 minutes before our date!!!! Saying she was to busy and wouldn’t be able to leave work anytime soon. I’m a little shocked, but say nothing of it and say call me when you get off. Then she texts me 20 minutes later saying she might still be able to meet and if I am still wanting to. I say yes, she says she’ll call me in 15 and then I never hear anything.
Four days go by and I send a text saying hello and how was your weekend and I never hear back. What gives here? Should I pick up the phone and call her? Or say screw it? I had a great time with her and would like to see her again. Why would she ask me out and then blow me off? Any advice here?

Thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t be so available. 😉 Play harder to get than you have been. Let a few weeks go by before you ask her out again, and if she blows off the date, wait — don’t jump to get another one. You’ll have a better idea how she feels about you if you’re more scarce, like a valued commodity. Treat dating like a business a little more than you have been. Understand that you’re a commodity and if you want to be valued you have to create value. If you’re always there, your value decreases.

And if she’s still not jumping to go out with you after you’ve done that, then take the hint that she liked you — but not enough to be relationship material — and move on. 😉

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[ontap83]

I’m not sure I understand, you’re saying play hard to get, but she is the one cancelling after SHE asks me out. That is what I am so confused about. Why would she ask me out only to cancel? As far as waiting a few weeks before I ask her out again, how should I do that? Just send a text asking to get together? I really like this girl and don’t to give up so easily! Don’t women like being pursued?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]I’m not sure I understand, you’re saying play hard to get, but she is the one cancelling after SHE asks me out. That is what I am so confused about. [/quote]

Sorry — I only took from your first post that she asked you out once. When you mentioned there, the times the two of you got together, it wasn’t clear that she was doing all the asking! 😮 Also, it doesn’t sound like you’re letting her know that you’re all that interested if you don’t take the lead and ask her out! You have to really define who you are and want to be to her — and that’s someone who wants to date her and be her boyfriend. If she’s doing all the asking…. it’s going to be hard for her to get that impression. Try saying no when she asks you out — just say you’re busy — but flirt with her, still. Then YOU call her and ask her out on a date. 😉

[quote]Why would she ask me out only to cancel? [/quote]

Because she’s not that interested. I know you’re having a good time when the two of you do get together, but it’s not good enough for her to drop everything and see you again.

[quote]As far as waiting a few weeks before I ask her out again, how should I do that? [/quote]

😯 Make a note in your calendar to ask her out in a few weeks. Is this a trick question?

[quote]Just send a text asking to get together? [/quote]

No! 😮 If you want to give her the impression that she’s an afterthought — then text her — but if you want to let her know you’re asking her out on a date, then either ask her in person, or call her up and ask her on the phone! Women love hearing a mans’ voice. It makes an impression, and right now, that’s what you have to work on. 😉 Texting doesn’t make people feel special, but asking her out in person or on the phone is a lot more effective because you can really flirt with her, interact, and give the message that you want to be in charge, and you to date her.

[quote]I really like this girl and don’t to give up so easily! Don’t women like being pursued?[/quote]

Yes, they do. 🙂 But you can’t just pursue her — you have to win her over. 😉

I’ve written a book that seems to help a lot of guys with dating. It’s called Date Out of Your League, and it’s going to give you lots of details to help you with this. I think you should buy it. It’s only $8.99 and it’s an automatic download, so you can start reading today. Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. Read it. It’s going to give you a leg up on this process. 🙂

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

[ontap83]

Hello April,

Thank you for the reply, however I think you are confused about what had happened and how things went. I’ll try and explain better.

I asked her out for date #1, at the end of the date she mentioned lets do this again and I said sure how about Monday and we agreed. Then Monday came and she was to tired so we rescheduled until Thursday. At the end of Thursday’s date (which was date #2) I asked to see her again, she said yes and we made plans for Sunday. Then Sunday came and she cancelled saying she would call me later which she never did. Three days later I talked her she apologized and I asked her out again, she said yes and mentioned meeting up the next night. The next day came and she cancelled again! Only to text me 20 minutes later saying she might be able to make it and she would let me know, but she never did.

I have no idea if this changes anything but I wanted to make you clear on what was going on.

Thank you,

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It doesn’t, but thank you! 🙂

[Member]

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