[crazed-driver]

At what point does showing a interest in someone stalking or even weird?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

When you upset the other person with your come ons, you’re bordering on or are full on stalking and/or exhibiting weird behavior.

[crazed-driver]

Well my point was that today I was in work and one of the bosses in my workplace said can this colleague join you/do your job for 10 minites as it was part of their job interview. Anyway when as she was finishing I had to fill in a form, saying how good she was, etc. Well as I was doing that I happened to catch her full name. So if I added her on a social website, does that make me a stalker? The reason why I wanted to do this is because during the quiet spells when no one was around, we started talking about the job and the problems of it, etc as well as having a very brief banter towards another colleague and we were laughing, non stop. Plus she seemed friendly towards everyone which is a bonus. So here’s my question, if I added her on a site, would that be considered stalking/weird?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Please join me on Facebook. I’d like my readers to become free members of AskApril.com. Here’s the link where you can join: [url][/url]. 🙂

[crazed-driver]

So is this weird/strange/considered as stalking and what about if you do it if you just know their name because everyone is so casual in the workplace? For example i mean a regular customer (so regular he sees all the staff in that area) adding them to facebook.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Simply adding a woman to your social website by inviting her to befriend you there is not stalking. She has a choice to friend you or not. Stalking usually involves multiple, regular unwanted advances. If she hasn’t turned you down then your advance is not necessarily unwanted. 😉

[Ethan Morales]

The main distinction April is drawing is between a simple, one-time attempt to connect and ongoing, unwanted behavior. Adding someone to a social platform after seeing their name isn’t automatically stalking or weird it becomes problematic only if you repeatedly pursue them after they’ve shown disinterest or if your approach is invasive.

From your description, you interacted in a casual, friendly way at work, and you’re considering sending a single friend request. That, on its own, is not stalking. The key is respecting boundaries: she can accept or ignore the request. If she declines or seems uncomfortable, you must not continue pursuing her through messages or other channels.

Also, context matters. In a workplace or with a regular customer, casual familiarity exists, so a simple, polite friend request is generally fine. Just avoid overanalyzing or overpursuing that’s what crosses into “weird” territory.

So, in short: sending a friend request after a friendly interaction is fine. Repeatedly pushing beyond her comfort zone is not. Respect her response and let things develop naturally from there.

[Tara]

Yes, it’s weird. You saw her name on a work form, not because she gave it to you, not because you two built any real connection, but because you happened to catch it while doing your job.

Using that tiny sliver of information to track her down online makes you look like someone who can’t read a social boundary to save his life. Ten minutes of polite workplace banter doesn’t equal an invitation into her personal life.

She was being friendly, not flirting, not bonding, not auditioning to be your new online buddy. If you add her now, she’s not going to think “how sweet,” she’s going to think “why is this guy digging for me online when I barely know him?”

If you want to avoid looking like a creep, then stop acting like one. If you ever get to know her naturally at work, great. If not, let it go. Boundaries exist for a reason try learning them.

[Sally]

I get why you’re asking this, because liking someone can make you second-guess every move. Showing interest is totally normal talking, asking questions, trying to get to know them, that’s just being human. It only gets weird when you start pushing past the signals they’re giving you, like texting after they’ve stopped replying, showing up places they didn’t invite you, or trying to force something they’re not leaning into.

Most of the time it’s not about how much attention you give, it’s about whether they’re giving it back. If they’re into you, your effort feels sweet. If they’re not, even a little can feel like pressure. Just pay attention to their response it’ll tell you everything.

[Member]

Posts