[golddragon]

Hi April,

I’ve been on a couple of dates with this guy. We were casual acquaintances/friends for a bit before he asked me on a date. I enjoy hanging out with him, but after going on the “dates,” I feel like I want to do just that…hang out. Problem is, even though we haven’t gotten physical or anything (probably bc of me being standoffish), he’s made his intentions pretty clear. He wants me to be his girlfriend, and he wants to think in the long term. I’m not in a “settling down” place in my life right now because I’m graduating and might be moving in a few months, and I was actually really enjoying being single!
I’ve tried to go the avoidance route, which I realize isn’t terribly mature of me. 😛 (To be fair, I AM very busy right now, have 2 part time jobs and am going to grad school full time). Every time I say I can’t make a date, he immediately asks me to set another time. I know I should feel lucky that he wants to see me that much but it’s making me nervous!
Anyway, we’re probably getting drinks tomorrow. Would it be a good time to have some kind of conversation about what’s going on? I’m very non-confrontational so I don’t know what to say.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It isn’t clear what you want from the relationship — or if you even want a relationship with him. 😕 So first, figure out what you want. Do you want to date him casually? Or do you want to date him at all? If it’s the former, then don’t have a talk. Just behave in a way that shows him your feelings. And if it’s the latter, then don’t bother dating someone you’re not really interested in.

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