[user2024]

Met a guy and really fast a fling turned into a full on relationship in less than three months I’m staying over at his place five times a week, we go on minivacations and we know everything about each other. But now he’s moving away to go to law school and I’m staying here in Italy. He says he doesn’t want to go but can’t stay and I don’t know what to do. We’ve known each other for so little time it sounds crazy to move to another country and follow him and even crazier if he asked me to. I don’t know what to do. We keep talking about meeting halfway every now and then but I can’t help feeling these are just words people in similar situations say. How many times do people actually follow through with them? Yes we are young and supposed to act silly and carefree but it’s really not like me to feel this way. Never really believed in loving one person forever until I met him (and I’m still not sure I’m in love with him, I’m trying not to be but it’s kind of like a battle I’ve already lost and don’t realize yet) and he says that he has never felt like this before either. (he has been in two very serious relationships prior/ I have not -ever)
Anyone with some insight is welcomed help

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like you’re upset that he’s moving to go to law school. I can understand that this sort of break up, or change in the relationship where you go from a fast fling to maybe a long distance relationship is unsettling, but he isn’t ready for more, and it’s probably going to be difficult at first for you to adjust to this new change in the relationship. Let me know if you have any specific questions. 😉

[user2024]

The question is : Should we even bother trying with a long distance relationship? How do I even ask such a thing? It’s not like we’ve been together for long and it’s almost an automatic assumption or step to make. Should I tell him I don’t want his moving away to mean the end? If so how do I do it?

[AskApril Masini]

Don’t ask. The ball is in his court. If he wants a long distance relationship, he’ll bring it up. If he doesn’t want one, he won’t. Until or if he does, assume that he’s not interested in more than what you have in the present. 😉 If you bring it up and you lead the way — and you don’t get the response you were hoping for — now or later, you’ll have wasted time. I know it’s hard for you to do nothing and watch this end, but it’s better for you to have clarity, and if you don’t give him the opportunity to show you what he wants, you won’t have it. So, sit still, quietly, and see how this plays out.

[Member]

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