[2121kris2121]

i haven’t been in a real (boyfriend/girlfriend) relationship in 2 years, and i’m worried i wont know how to handle this situation. i’ve know this guy for about 10 months, but when i met him we were both seeing other people. a little over a week ago, we were at a mutual friends birthday party, drinking, playing pool, etc. he was really flirty with me, and i ended up spending the night at his house. we did hook up, but i didn’t think it meant anything. a few days following, he asked me to hang out with one of his friends and watch a sports game, i did, and we had a few drinks but didnt hook up. we kissed a few times, cuddled, and fell asleep. the next morning, i didnt feel like being too touchy because i thought that maybe he only wanted to be like that with me when he was tipsy or whatever. this is how i think. he told me later that day that he liked me, and i tried playing it cool because honestly thought he was lying. and i think telling someone you have feelings for them, especially in such a short time, kinda ruins the fun and the build up. i have seen him twice since then, on his request, and only one resulted in sex. i am starting to like him as well, but don’t know how to play it and honestly, i am still a little skeptical that he has feelings for me after such a short time. he is super cute and cuddley and kisses me alot when we’re drinking, but the next day i get one peck before he leaves. i dont want to come on too strong, and i also don’t want our hanging out to be revolved around drinking and sex and he just associates me with that. but it helps when i have a little liquid courage to talk to him because i can be a little shy around guys i like. how am i supposed to get him to want to see me and spend time with me, and hopefully get to know me better with out sounding like i want to move too fast or that i like him more than he does. i’m scared to even text him because i think it might sound clingy. i haven’t been in this situation for what feels like forever. did i ruin it by having sex with him in the first place? please help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s really important [b]not[/b] to sleep with a guy too soon because if you do, it’s very hard to tell if he just wants sex or if he’s willing (and wanting) to chase you and win you over. 😳 Men also prefer women who make them give chase — men LOVE to chase women and they love to win them over. If you sleep with him before you’ve even dated him, you’ve basically made yourself a very easy mark. Now, you’re a friend with benefits, and as you’re finding out, it’s hard to trust what he says because it may be what he needs to say to get you into bed again — not what he really feels.

The best you can do is not sleep with him any more until (if) he asks you out on a real date. Hanging out in combination with having sex too soon is a tough obstacle to overcome, but not sleeping with him will let you know better if he’s still interested in spending time with you one on one in a dating situation.

I hope that helps. For more help, I strongly suggest that you read Think & Date Like A Man, a book I wrote for women who want to date well! 😀 Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. It’s got lots of tips and advice — including when to sleep with a man — and it’s going to help you a lot more than I can here. 😀

I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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