[Frank]

Hello,I am a student in college and I have loved this girl for almost a year. I saw her the first year but never had the chance to approach her. On the second year I once went late to my class and decided to attend the next session. I saw her in class and immediately started going to the same session. We became friends and I talk to her from time to time. I say hi when I see her and sometimes grab coffee together with friends.
My problem is the following: I love this girl with all of my heart. Everything reminds me of her and I think about her at night which doesn’t allow me to sleep well. I do not know what to do as I am afraid of the rejection and that I cannot take the risk of making a mistake. I tried to invite her for coffee but she was going to bring her friend and I do not know if it is because she didn’t want to stay alone with me or because her friend came for no reason. Because of this i don’t know what to do next. I talk to her from time to time by text. She does take a long to answer but always ends up answering back. Again I do not know if it is because she is polite or because she likes me. She never engages the conversation and Doesnt ask questions back except polite questions such as “I am graduating in December and you ? I am fine you ?” But that’s it.
I really love this girl and I really would do anything for her. Her smile is what makes me happy. Her friend likes me as well and could get coffee with me. Should I involve her friend and ask her for advice? How do I approach her? Should I arrange a coffee and declare to her my love?
Also for Valentine’s Day, I sent her flowers with a note that said “My love by Khalil Gibran” which is an Arabic poem but she doesn’t know it. She posted my message on snapchat saying “is this a joke ?”. My intention was to have a card that I could use at anytime. Why not tell her some day that card was from me.
Please I do not know what to do. I am not particularly ugly, we are both from the same region and have the sane religion and we have the same vision of things. Same morals and same way of thinking. I know I can make her love me if she gives me the chance. Should I declare my love?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Don’t declare your love, but do flirt with her. You’re very serious about your strong feelings, and that’s scaring her away. She doesn’t share your feelings right now, and you’re coming on too strong at the moment. Remember that your goal is to get her to get to know you and like you — not overcome her. 😉 If you can lighten up with her, and still have the same goal of getting to know her, and winning her over, you’ll do much better with this relationship. For instance, instead of a love poem for someone you’ve never dated, why not send a stuffed animal and invite her to do something fun like play tennis or see a movie? You can send her love poems when you get to know her better and feel that they’ll be better received. Right now, for her, they’re coming out of left field and they’re pushing her away which is why she’s wanting to bring a friend to lighten the mood. If she thinks you like her and want to get to know her, rather than making a declaration that will overwhelm her, she’ll be less likely to feel the responsibility of your feelings. 🙂

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