[tolongtowait]

Hello April,
I was in a relationship 20 years ago with a man whom i endlessly loved. We lived together for 7 years and I hoped and expected him to marry me. I found out that he had cheated several times and I had enough and left, however I still loved him and still do today. He did go on to marry a woman he got pregnant and they had 2 children and was married 15 years. Over the years we remained in contact and seen each other here and there. He separated a year ago and called me and we have been seeing each other since then. I told him from the start what I wanted and expected in our relationship this time which is to get married and have that happy ending. We have been together over a year and he has made no attempt at showing me a real commitment. We see each other daily, and he spends maybe one night and week with me but he doesn’t talk about anything to do with a future and if I ask questions he gets irritated with me. He said he wants us to have a future and get married but I see no attempt on his part at all! What do I do? I have loved him most all my life but I didn’t get this the first time and I don’t see anything happening so far this time! I am a patient person but my patients are wearing thin. Do I continue to wait, or gracefully walk away? This has been so many years, but I don’t have those years to wait this time. I’m now 50 and want someone in my life and settle down. Please help!
Many Thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

He’s not going to marry you. 😳 Mainly, because he’s married to someone else. 😕 Aside from that, he lived with you for 7 years, 20 years ago, and didn’t marry you. Now you’ve been dating for 1 year while he’s married to someone else and he’s still not making a move to marry you. He’s made it entirely clear that he’s not interested in marrying you. If you want to get married, then look for someone who’s single, wants to marry (doesn’t just say it, acts like it) and doesn’t waste your time. 🙂

I hope that helps. If you have any more questions, please ask.

[tolongtowait]

He is separated and his divorce is final in a week, but none the less your probably right! Thanks

[April Masini, your AskApril]

That means he’s married. 😉 And has been the entire year you’ve been dating him. No judgement — just want you to understand that he hasn’t really been single. If he does get divorced, and doesn’t marry you, you’ll have had 8 years with him (7 years last go-round and 1 year this time) where he says he’ll marry you and doesn’t. I’d hate to see you waste any more time. 😳 You’re welcome to ask me any more questions if you have them. 🙂

[Member]

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