[Anonymous]

Hi April
I have this really tough dilemma. I am currently engaged. She lives in Pennsylvania and I live in Tennessee. We met in PA while I was in a work vocation school called JobCorps but then went to a different campus. I am living in TN and currently looking for work (been looking for 2 months now). My fiance on the other hand has a job at a grocery but is working minimum wage. She wants me to move to Philly when she gets an apartment (don’t know when that will happen). I don’t want to move to philly. I have given several reasons why such as: Too Cold during winter, Her family lives there and have done bad things to her and have caused her to not talk to them, and lastly I feel unsafe living in philly. I have told her my reasons. I have also told her she can decide any other city but she keeps on about me moving to philly. I feel that she doesn’t care about how I feel. I love her so much and we were planning to get married next year. We have been apart since Jan 2009(we met May 2008). I think us being separated has something to do with this but I’m unsure. Today she called me and told me I have to decide soon or we can go our ways. I feel that she is making it so that in order to love her I have to give up on my wants and that if I keep saying that I don’t wanna move to philly then I’m just thinking of myself. So to summarize my question I’m needing help on whether I should just move regardless of how I feel on the living condition or should I just say goodbye and look for someone else? Thanks for any advice you can tender.

[April Mașini, your AskApril]

This doesn’t sound like a strong relationship. You were together for nine months, after which you got engaged. Since that engagement, you’ve been apart now, in different states, for over a year! And you’re fighting about moving to her state to be with her? 😕

What you need to do, if you’re still interested in marrying her, is to get to know her again. A year apart is a very long time. Moving to a city you’re not interested in moving to, at this point in your relationship isn’t going to foster this relationship. She can clearly get a grocery store job in Tennessee, but doesn’t want to, and you don’t want to move to Philadelphia, so I think it’s game over.

Next!

[Member]

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