[ontap]

Hello April!

I went on a date with this girl (set up by mutual friends) The first date we had a blast, she told her friend that it was the best date she had been on in years and that she was also attracted to me and I was easy to talk to. Well due to her busy schedule ( or so she says) we went out a week later and had another good time, Then I started getting blown off and it wasn’t until 2 weeks later that we went out for what ended up being the final time. We both had a lot of fun, and messed around back at my place. She mentioned that she had a blast and even went so far as to say “It’s important to me that you believe I had a lot of fun, I really did!” and she wanted to go out again.
Well after that I got blown off again and 4-5 days later I get a text saying that she doesn’t feel anything for me other then friends…..What gives here? I know with only 3 dates in like 5 weeks your not going to feel anything just yet, but I would of liked to see what could of happened…….Should I keep pursuing? Or just let it go? I really would like to fight for this one so to speak. We had to much fun for there not to be any chemistry between the two of us.

Thanks for the help!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Dating is a process where both you and the woman decide if you want to continue investing time in each other, or if there’s an incompatibility and it’s time to move on. It sounds like after three dates, she isn’t interested, and you are. Before you decide if you want to compete for her attention, my advice is to decide WHY she wants to move on. What did you learn about her in the three dates that would lead you to understand why she wants to move on? That will help you to figure out a strategy to win her over — if it’s possible.

For instance, if she got the wrong impression about something that was important to her during the three dates, you may want to address this. But if you’re just not her cup of tea, then my advice is not to waste too much time trying to convince her you are. Give yourself a time frame for trying to win her over, after which you can agree that this isn’t a love match and move on. 😉

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[ontap]

Hi April,

I have no problems talking to women or getting a date. I also have no problems getting a second date. However I am the worst at getting a third date! What do women typically look for on a second date that stops them from going out with someone a third time?!?!?

The last 7 women I went out with all stopped seeing me after the second date. I’m physically fit, I exercise, non-smoker, good job and I’m successful so what gives? Each time between the first and second date we are talking/texting a lot and laughing and its going great. Then we go out on the second date and afterwords I never hear from then again. Its gets pretty frustrating as you can imagine….please help!

Ontap

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’ve got a pattern going on here, and it’s great that you recognize it. I’m going to assume you’re attractive, since you’re getting first dates, so it’s not that. So let’s look at why women don’t go for third dates.

Do you have any deal breakers? I know these may sound crazy, but bear with me. Are you still married? Living with your ex? Have female roommates, or living with your parents or other relatives? Do you have bad breath? Are you clean? Do you have body odor? Are you crass? Are you flirting and sexy? Are you a bad kisser? Or do you come on too strong and expect sex on that second date? Do you tell them you don’t want a relationship and just a friends with benefits thing?

You need to help me out here because there’s got to be something that’s going on between the second date and the third date — that you’re not yet aware of, but that is consistent enough that all these women are moving on so regularly. What do you think?

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[ontap]

All good questions! Here you go…..

[b][b][b]Do you have any deal breakers?[/b][/b][/b] Not really, just rude people
[b]I know these may sound crazy, but bear with me. Are you still married?[/b] NO
[b] Living with your ex[/b]? No
[b]Have female roommates, or living with your parents or other relatives?[/b] No
[b]Do you have bad breath?[/b] No
[b] Are you clean[/b]? Yes very much so! [b]Do you have body odor?[/b] No Are you crass? [b]No Are you flirting and sexy[/b]? Yes [b]Are you a bad kisser?[/b] No, I have been told I am very good [b]Or do you come on too strong and expect sex on that second date?[/b] I do not
[b] Do you tell them you don’t want a relationship and just a friends with benefits thing?[/b] Not usually discussed but looking for a relationship

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I suggested some possible problems so that you could understand that there has to be something going on, and since I don’t know you and I’m not there, you’re going to have to do the work. 😉 If you’ve had 7 second dates in a row, and no third date, there is something going on that’s keeping these women from moving on to a third date. Usually a third date is where there’s more sexual involvement — not always, but usually, there’s more than there had been on the first two dates. Something is keeping them from wanting to move into that arena with you. Can you think of anything that might be stopping all 7 of them? Do you have close friends who might be able to be honest with you about what’s going on? I can’t really help you beyond what you’ve already told me, so see if you can dig a little deeper….. I notice that your 2012 post, below, has a similar theme. You’re going to have to figure out what it is you’re presenting that isn’t working out…. When it’s 7 women in a row, chances are it’s not a coincidence. There’s something you haven’t picked up on, about yourself, yet.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url]
And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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