[texasmomof3]

I’m seriously confused and wondered if anyone had any advice out there. I’m a single mom of 3 and started casually dating. I’m fortunate in that I’ve found two great men but now I’m getting to the point where I’m feeling bad because I think I’m going to end up hurting someone and that was never my intention. I like them both and honestly, think I’ve found two quality men. I’m just not sure which one is the “right” one for me. They are both thoughtful, romantic, sensitive (yes i mean it), great dads and seem genuinely interested in me and my kids. (neither has met my kids, won’t due that til its very serious). O

One is more outgoing, funny, and is in sales like me with older kids but overweight but sill good looking and is trying to lose weight. I have a lot of fun with him and he makes me feel so amazing about myself but honestly, his weight bothers me a little but I keep thinking, he’s working on it and I shouldn’t be so shallow because I’ve seen his pix before he gained the divorce weight, and he’s so good looking. But that aside, he’s just an amazing person and does that even really matter?!

The other is Mr. Family Guy and very honest, sentimental, deep and we have quieter nights together but they are amazing. He’s also good looking, smart, funny but maybe a bit more nerdy than the other guy. But he’s fit, treats me like a queen and is very supportive and loving as well and we have some amazing conversations.

Honestly, i feel very fortunate because they are both awesome. But I’m starting to feel like I need to choose because they have both told me they are falling in love with me. They both talk about the 3 kids not being a problem and how even though they haven’t met them yet, they feel a kinship to them. They are both giving, loving and supportive.

I’m really torn. Part of me feels like I should run away from both becuase I’m a jerk for having dated them both to begin with. But I really don’t want to lose either one and keep thinking that with time, I’ll figure it out. But what’s happening is they are falling harder and honestly, so am I….for both of them. How messed up is that?

Any help is most appreciated!!!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have a quality problem! 😉 You haven’t written anything about either one of them that implies you should stop seeing them — except that you don’t think it’s right to lead them both on when you’re ultimately going to choose just one. Based on what you wrote, my advice is to learn more about them. Find out about their families of origin, their divorces and the reasons they married who they did. Find out what they want for the future, and what their characters are really like. But more importantly, find out what YOU want, specifically, and who is more compatible. 😀 You’ve written a lot about them, but which one fits YOUR puzzle and will be best for who you are and how you live.

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